Lisa: A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.
Bart: Not if they were called 'Stink Blossoms'.
Marge: I wouldn't want a dozen 'Stink Blossoms' for Valentines Day. Some candy would do just fine.
Homer: Not if they were called 'Scum Drops'.
Creating nicknames is a lost art in the NBA. Most are very lazy - using initials (KG, MJ), the first letter and part of the last name (JKidd, CWebb), or, the recent trend, initials and a number (KB24, CP3). Please. Give me "The Answer" or "Black Mamba" any day.
In the past, I have usually given Nets players my own personal nicknames. My personal favorite was Hot Buttered Lucious Harris. How did this come about? Well, Lucious Harris always hit a lot of big buckets on the Nets. And popcorn comes in big buckets at a movie theater. And my favorite type of popcorn is hot-buttered. Hence, he became Hot Buttered Lou.
Now that I have this forum to address the Nets fans, I will profile each player on the current roster, and create a new nickname for you all to use this season. I will do one player every two days, so make sure to check back frequently. The basketball offseason drags in August and September, so this will certainly help pass the time!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Arcade Fires
"Cause down the shore everything's all right / You and your baby on a Saturday night / You know all my dreams come true / When I'm walking down the street with you." - Tom Waits
Like any true Jersey Boi, my summers are always peppered with weekend trips to the Shore. The Shore is a fascinating place, because it creates a bond between all New Jerseyians regardless of their ethnicity, body type, interests and hobbies, etc. Some people like swimming and the beach, others like the serene atmosphere. Currently, I love going down and being able to drink all day and eat shitty pizza at night. But, as a child, trips to Jersey Shore meant I was just a hot 3-hour car ride away from one thing: ARCADES.
Maybe I'm just a sucker for flashing lights - I do love Las Vegas and Times Square - but arcades hypnotized me as a child. A fistful of quarters meant hours of fun. My favorite time killers were the "beat-em-ups" - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, X-Men, The Simpsons, etc. I also loved games where you would win tickets for prizes (the most famous being Skee-Ball). I pop in a quarter, have fun, and then can exchange tickets for Styrofoam airplanes? Sweet deal.
But, there was a game I absolutely hated: the mechanical basketball hoops thing. What were the point of these things? Arcade games usually appeal to the human id, allowing us to revel in greed (seeing how many tickets we can earn with just one quarter) or violence (many games have plastic guns attached to them). But those mechanical basketball hoops machines? I don't have to go to an arcade to play basketball! Nevertheless, my basketball junkie side sometimes got the best of me, and I would take a turn playing. And, man, it was ALWAYS super shitty. First, you are shooting flat basketballs that have been manhandled by booger-pickers all day long. Second, the rim is usually placed about a foot from the ceiling, mean you have to have NO ARC on your shot. Third, you have a time limit, so there's no time to figure out how to shoot UP at the hoop and make it in as the ball is still moving upwards. And, to top it off, most of the time you did not earn tickets from this game. Fuck that shit.
So what does this have to do with the Nets? Well, in my latest excursion to the Shore a few weeks ago, I saw those dreaded machines. And, sure enough, the Nets now sponsored them...

...and sure enough, their machine was broken. The New Jersey Nets: proud sponsors of a dumb game with a machine that does not even work. If there is a sadder but more appropriate image than that above, please let me know.
Like any true Jersey Boi, my summers are always peppered with weekend trips to the Shore. The Shore is a fascinating place, because it creates a bond between all New Jerseyians regardless of their ethnicity, body type, interests and hobbies, etc. Some people like swimming and the beach, others like the serene atmosphere. Currently, I love going down and being able to drink all day and eat shitty pizza at night. But, as a child, trips to Jersey Shore meant I was just a hot 3-hour car ride away from one thing: ARCADES.
Maybe I'm just a sucker for flashing lights - I do love Las Vegas and Times Square - but arcades hypnotized me as a child. A fistful of quarters meant hours of fun. My favorite time killers were the "beat-em-ups" - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, X-Men, The Simpsons, etc. I also loved games where you would win tickets for prizes (the most famous being Skee-Ball). I pop in a quarter, have fun, and then can exchange tickets for Styrofoam airplanes? Sweet deal.
But, there was a game I absolutely hated: the mechanical basketball hoops thing. What were the point of these things? Arcade games usually appeal to the human id, allowing us to revel in greed (seeing how many tickets we can earn with just one quarter) or violence (many games have plastic guns attached to them). But those mechanical basketball hoops machines? I don't have to go to an arcade to play basketball! Nevertheless, my basketball junkie side sometimes got the best of me, and I would take a turn playing. And, man, it was ALWAYS super shitty. First, you are shooting flat basketballs that have been manhandled by booger-pickers all day long. Second, the rim is usually placed about a foot from the ceiling, mean you have to have NO ARC on your shot. Third, you have a time limit, so there's no time to figure out how to shoot UP at the hoop and make it in as the ball is still moving upwards. And, to top it off, most of the time you did not earn tickets from this game. Fuck that shit.
So what does this have to do with the Nets? Well, in my latest excursion to the Shore a few weeks ago, I saw those dreaded machines. And, sure enough, the Nets now sponsored them...

...and sure enough, their machine was broken. The New Jersey Nets: proud sponsors of a dumb game with a machine that does not even work. If there is a sadder but more appropriate image than that above, please let me know.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Gone Podcastin' - Part Three
After a two month hiatus, I make my triumphant return the Brad Bogner Show. Unfortunately, I was extremely hung over (as I was during the first show). Furthermore, this was done at my apartment with the air conditioner off (as it was making too much noise), so we both worked up a healthy sweat.
You can listen to the heat-induced ramblings here.
I love the picture:
You can listen to the heat-induced ramblings here.
I love the picture:
Thursday, July 23, 2009
More Links and Programming Notes
The "Gotta Dance" review posted this week has generated a lot of buzz, and Ball Don't Lie was once again kind enough to link to me. For all people who are new to my site, let me say "Welcome" and I hope you stick around.
To all my loyal readers, let me say thank you for your continuing support. Please continue to check the blog frequently, tell your friends about it, and add yourself to the "Followers" section. I've been at this for four months now, consistently updating each week, and have found it to be a very rewarding (and challenging) experience. As always, I would love to publish reader e-mails, so please send your comments/questions/dumb trade ideas to rory (dot) toohey (at) gmail.
Next week, the posting format will be a little different. I will be on the Brad Bogner Show this weekend, and I will link to it on Monday. On Tuesday, I will post a short little rant. On Wednesday, there will be a special announcement of a new blog feature which will take place during the month of August (also known as "Dead Time" in the NBA season). So plan your vacations accordingly.
To all my loyal readers, let me say thank you for your continuing support. Please continue to check the blog frequently, tell your friends about it, and add yourself to the "Followers" section. I've been at this for four months now, consistently updating each week, and have found it to be a very rewarding (and challenging) experience. As always, I would love to publish reader e-mails, so please send your comments/questions/dumb trade ideas to rory (dot) toohey (at) gmail.
Next week, the posting format will be a little different. I will be on the Brad Bogner Show this weekend, and I will link to it on Monday. On Tuesday, I will post a short little rant. On Wednesday, there will be a special announcement of a new blog feature which will take place during the month of August (also known as "Dead Time" in the NBA season). So plan your vacations accordingly.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Gotta Dance - Movie Review
"Age is of no importance, unless you are a cheese." - Florenz Ziegfeld

One night about two months ago, I was out at a bar with a couple friends. The blog was in its nascent stages, and I was running out of ideas (this is what happens when you start a Nets blog with 12 games to go in the season). Fortunately, my friend Steve of Fluxing Philosophic fame, pointed out a blurb about a documentary called Gotta Dance. Both he and I read the blurb a little too fast, and believed it to be a documentary about the Nets cheerleaders. Yes, I can definitely get behind watching beautiful women in form fitting outfits dance for 90 minutes. However, my friend Danny (of Danny Thoughts fame), pointed out the key word we missed: the Nets SENIOR Dance Team. Cue up the sad trombone. After getting over this initial flub, I figured that the concept was very unique and related to the "peripheral" world of Nets basketball that is was worth exploring. Having seen the film, I can say that it was a good decision.
The main theme of this film is in the quote above (which begins the film) - that age is all mental, and you can still have fun throughout your life. I'm sure as reviews pour in for this film, they will all mention that similar sentiment, so I do not want to spend an inordinate amount of time on it. Plus, pulling from my own life experience, I already knew that older people can still rock it. For example, my parents got divorced when I was 14 years old. Although my mom was 46 and now raising two sons by herself, she still went out to singles functions to meet new people her age, and had a significantly better dating life than I did! As embarrassing as it is to admit, it is still somewhat difficult for me to keep track of where she is at times - as she spends many weekends traveling or weeknights at the movies or with friends she met at the local Starbucks. It is difficult to imagine her slowing down as she hits her "golden years" of 65 and older. To make a tired point - and summarize the theme of the movie - age does not slow you down, it is just one more roadblock in a life full of roadblocks. With hard work and determination, anybody can blow through it.

But, there is so much more I took from this movie than the "age is nothing" theme. One thing that really struck me was how much work is put into creating the team. The movie chronicles a try-out and selection process, followed by two weeks of intensive training. All of this leads to a two-minute dance routine in the middle of a 150 minute basketball game. It seems like a lot of work for a little reward, but it pays off with fame, as the team gets noticed by major newspapers and performs on TV morning shows. But, immediately after this, it is on to learn a new routine.
I usually mock the Nets' slogan "More Than A Game", but this movie actually made me believe that. To draw from my own personal life again (yeah, don't worry, I'll continue talking about the movie - but this is MY blog, suckas), my aforementioned friend Steve took his girlfriend Lisa to a Nets game this season - his first game in a long time, her first game ever. And the Nets got crushed. I felt bad for them because they were subjected to such a horrible game. However, after seeing this movie, I can appreciate the hard work the other performers (besides the main attraction) put into creating an all-around entertainment experience. Hopefully, they will feel the same way after seeing this film and choose to go to another game. Unfortunately, I am extremely superstitious and will do everything in my power to prevent them from stepping through the front gates again.

The thing that will last with me about this film is the attention it pays to detailing each person in the film. While the bird's eye view of the movie is the "age is nothing", when you dig deeper, you can see all the persons motivations for dancing. Two of the Dancers are the grandmothers of the NETSational "younger" cheerleaders. The dancing not only is to feel young and meet new friends, but to have a unique bonding experience with their granddaughters.
There are two other personalities that got a lot of screen-time that were very fascinating. One is Betty...or should I say...Betsy. She explains the duality of her personalities. Betty is the reserved, conservative school teacher who likes to remain traditional - she even wears flats so that she does not appear taller than men. But Betsy is the wild, fashion-savvy hip-hopper, who rose to the rank of leader of the Nets Senior Dance Team. This arthritic version of Jeckyl-and-Hyde illustrated the difficulties we all face of breaking out of our normal, comfortable life to challenge ourselves. Trying something new can lead to failure, and failure can be devastating. Eventually, Betsy's confidence influenced Betty's life, and she became more outgoing and creative in her teaching, introducing hip-hop into the classroom.

Another dancer I enjoyed learning about was Peggy, pictured above. As a young woman, she was "Miss Subway", with her face on posters. Clearly, she was a looker back in her youth, and still adores the attention. Her age has not diminished her confidence, as she feels she is still a stunner. The way she talks is interesting too. I could easily characterize the other dancers, as they all sounded like my parents or grandparents - making corny jokes or being very polite. However, with Peggy, the manner-of-fact way she talked made her just sound very young.
To be fair, there are a couple of downsides. I would have loved to see more Dancers explored. Granted, there are 13 dancers, which is a lot for one film, but there were many training scenes that could have been shortened. Also, while most of the dialogue seemed authentic, there were a couple of moments (i.e. in the dinner scenes) where it seemed a little set-up - but I expect this of many documentaries.
Overall, it is definitely a film that Nets fans should check out - it will definitely give you more insight into the behind-the-scenes of the Izod Center entertainment. Documentary fans will not be disappointed, either. There is no heavy-handed political commentary (a la Michael Moore) or personality distortions to create conflict (a la The King of Kong, which is still really good and I do recommend). There are some excellent character studies and a solid, well-built theme that reaches a satisfying conclusion.
Click here to see a list of upcoming screenings of Gotta Dance.

One night about two months ago, I was out at a bar with a couple friends. The blog was in its nascent stages, and I was running out of ideas (this is what happens when you start a Nets blog with 12 games to go in the season). Fortunately, my friend Steve of Fluxing Philosophic fame, pointed out a blurb about a documentary called Gotta Dance. Both he and I read the blurb a little too fast, and believed it to be a documentary about the Nets cheerleaders. Yes, I can definitely get behind watching beautiful women in form fitting outfits dance for 90 minutes. However, my friend Danny (of Danny Thoughts fame), pointed out the key word we missed: the Nets SENIOR Dance Team. Cue up the sad trombone. After getting over this initial flub, I figured that the concept was very unique and related to the "peripheral" world of Nets basketball that is was worth exploring. Having seen the film, I can say that it was a good decision.
The main theme of this film is in the quote above (which begins the film) - that age is all mental, and you can still have fun throughout your life. I'm sure as reviews pour in for this film, they will all mention that similar sentiment, so I do not want to spend an inordinate amount of time on it. Plus, pulling from my own life experience, I already knew that older people can still rock it. For example, my parents got divorced when I was 14 years old. Although my mom was 46 and now raising two sons by herself, she still went out to singles functions to meet new people her age, and had a significantly better dating life than I did! As embarrassing as it is to admit, it is still somewhat difficult for me to keep track of where she is at times - as she spends many weekends traveling or weeknights at the movies or with friends she met at the local Starbucks. It is difficult to imagine her slowing down as she hits her "golden years" of 65 and older. To make a tired point - and summarize the theme of the movie - age does not slow you down, it is just one more roadblock in a life full of roadblocks. With hard work and determination, anybody can blow through it.

But, there is so much more I took from this movie than the "age is nothing" theme. One thing that really struck me was how much work is put into creating the team. The movie chronicles a try-out and selection process, followed by two weeks of intensive training. All of this leads to a two-minute dance routine in the middle of a 150 minute basketball game. It seems like a lot of work for a little reward, but it pays off with fame, as the team gets noticed by major newspapers and performs on TV morning shows. But, immediately after this, it is on to learn a new routine.
I usually mock the Nets' slogan "More Than A Game", but this movie actually made me believe that. To draw from my own personal life again (yeah, don't worry, I'll continue talking about the movie - but this is MY blog, suckas), my aforementioned friend Steve took his girlfriend Lisa to a Nets game this season - his first game in a long time, her first game ever. And the Nets got crushed. I felt bad for them because they were subjected to such a horrible game. However, after seeing this movie, I can appreciate the hard work the other performers (besides the main attraction) put into creating an all-around entertainment experience. Hopefully, they will feel the same way after seeing this film and choose to go to another game. Unfortunately, I am extremely superstitious and will do everything in my power to prevent them from stepping through the front gates again.

The thing that will last with me about this film is the attention it pays to detailing each person in the film. While the bird's eye view of the movie is the "age is nothing", when you dig deeper, you can see all the persons motivations for dancing. Two of the Dancers are the grandmothers of the NETSational "younger" cheerleaders. The dancing not only is to feel young and meet new friends, but to have a unique bonding experience with their granddaughters.
There are two other personalities that got a lot of screen-time that were very fascinating. One is Betty...or should I say...Betsy. She explains the duality of her personalities. Betty is the reserved, conservative school teacher who likes to remain traditional - she even wears flats so that she does not appear taller than men. But Betsy is the wild, fashion-savvy hip-hopper, who rose to the rank of leader of the Nets Senior Dance Team. This arthritic version of Jeckyl-and-Hyde illustrated the difficulties we all face of breaking out of our normal, comfortable life to challenge ourselves. Trying something new can lead to failure, and failure can be devastating. Eventually, Betsy's confidence influenced Betty's life, and she became more outgoing and creative in her teaching, introducing hip-hop into the classroom.

Another dancer I enjoyed learning about was Peggy, pictured above. As a young woman, she was "Miss Subway", with her face on posters. Clearly, she was a looker back in her youth, and still adores the attention. Her age has not diminished her confidence, as she feels she is still a stunner. The way she talks is interesting too. I could easily characterize the other dancers, as they all sounded like my parents or grandparents - making corny jokes or being very polite. However, with Peggy, the manner-of-fact way she talked made her just sound very young.
To be fair, there are a couple of downsides. I would have loved to see more Dancers explored. Granted, there are 13 dancers, which is a lot for one film, but there were many training scenes that could have been shortened. Also, while most of the dialogue seemed authentic, there were a couple of moments (i.e. in the dinner scenes) where it seemed a little set-up - but I expect this of many documentaries.
Overall, it is definitely a film that Nets fans should check out - it will definitely give you more insight into the behind-the-scenes of the Izod Center entertainment. Documentary fans will not be disappointed, either. There is no heavy-handed political commentary (a la Michael Moore) or personality distortions to create conflict (a la The King of Kong, which is still really good and I do recommend). There are some excellent character studies and a solid, well-built theme that reaches a satisfying conclusion.
Click here to see a list of upcoming screenings of Gotta Dance.
Labels:
Gotta Dance,
Movie Reviews,
Nets Senior Dance Team
Monday, July 13, 2009
Blast From the Past - Nets Town Hall Meeting, 2/11/08
Here is a (slightly-edited) post from a Nets "Town Hall" Meeting, on 2/10/08. To set the stage: the team sucked, and Kidd wanted out. The Nets senior management (Thorn, Ratner, Brett Yormark, and newcomer Kiki Vandeweghe) held an open forum for Nets ticket holders. The meeting was held at the Nets practice facility in East Rutherford. Seeing as I bitch and moan online, I thought it would be disingenuous not to say anything to their faces when given the chance. Here is my recap. It is funny, unique moments like this that first put the idea of starting a blog into my head. More Random Nets Crap next week.
Rod Thorn mentioned 4 main topics in his "State of the Team" address.
1. His regrets about not resigning Mikki Moore. He said he wanted a "do-over". I had never heard this publicly stated before, and thought "hm, this could be interesting, maybe I'll learn something new."
2. Lawrence Frank: He supports the coach, and would fire Frank if he thought coaching was the problem with the team. The players like him and do not complain. Basically same old same old. I support Frank, so I didn't have much of an issue here. It's not Frank's fault that the team is poorly constructed.
3. Jason Kidd: Again, more of the same about not trading him for the sake of trading him, looking for the best deal. Sky is still blue, grass still green, Rod Thorn still not trading Kidd unless he gets a great offer.
4. Vince Carter: Thorn addressed that some people thought his contract was bad, and battled back using the typical pure numbers argument. Vince was the leading scorer, and the team was 0-5 without him. He did not address MY issues - that there was no market for Vince last summer, hence he was overpaid.
So they turned to the audience to ask questions. It was pretty cool, as you sat literally next to Rod Thorn, like if you went to a movie theater with him. On your right was Chris Carrino, the Nets radio voice and emcee. On your left was Thorn, followed by Bruce Ratner (owner), Kiki Vandeweghe (Rod's assistant), and Brett Yormark (head of marketing). The majority of the questions focused around the topics Thorn already addressed - i.e. Coach Frank, Jason Kidd, finding a big man, etc.
I wasn't going to ask a question until I heard a few. After the first ones were basically deep tissue massages for management (I honestly believe a few had to be planted), I figured I should go up - this is my chance to complain TO ROD - it'd be disingenuous if I go back on the Internet and complain without having the guts to saying anything to his face. So I go up there, and I must've looked really dorky - I'm a skinny white kid and my face was beat-red (I was nervous). Anyway, here's a rough transcript:
"Hey Rod. I've been a fan for a long time, and I'd be really remiss if I didn't get to ask a question. This is my first time at the Town Hall meeting, and after my question, it might be my last time. I was going to go up here and rip you about Mikki (note: this is true, I made sure to look up Mikki's and Magloire's stats before going), but you already apologized for that. And I accept your apology - everyone makes mistakes, that's why pencils have erasers.
Now...
Could I get an apology for Jamal Magloire, Jeff McInnis, Chris Childs, Ron Mercer, Scott Padgett, selling the 2004 draft pick, trading Korver for nothing..."
I trailed off, as I was trying to think of the ones I forgot (Wright over Granger, dammit!) but the crowd had already started applauding and the management was laughing. After it settled down (and I heard Ratner mumble something about selling the 04 pick - maybe not his fault? The Goldman Sachs investors? I forget how the story went), Rod went onto explain how sometimes things work, sometimes things don't, how they all looked good when it happened (I had to bite my tongue, because none of those did in my mind). Kiki added that if you aren't making mistakes, you aren't trying. I wish they would print THAT in the media guide. Chris Carrino made a joke as I went off stage, saying that security has my picture.
A couple questions later, an the angry European guy came on and ripped into the team, saying he used to take his kids to the game as a reward, now he uses it as a punishment. He left them speechless.
Overall, it wasn't anything new, but I didn't expect it to be. When your boss calls you out at work for all your mistakes, you never own up - you just bullshit and beat around the bush. This was similar. My friend thought I should've asked a more "answerable" question - but I decided to stick with something jokey, like a pie-in-the-face. If I went up there and did a "here's what I would've done with the team" and played fantasy GM, I think their eyes would've glazed over and they would've given more of the same type answers. At least now they'll remember my question.
Well, that's it. At least I remember my question. It is worth noting that after this, they traded Jason Kidd later in the week. I like to think my question was responsible for that move.
Rod Thorn mentioned 4 main topics in his "State of the Team" address.
1. His regrets about not resigning Mikki Moore. He said he wanted a "do-over". I had never heard this publicly stated before, and thought "hm, this could be interesting, maybe I'll learn something new."
2. Lawrence Frank: He supports the coach, and would fire Frank if he thought coaching was the problem with the team. The players like him and do not complain. Basically same old same old. I support Frank, so I didn't have much of an issue here. It's not Frank's fault that the team is poorly constructed.
3. Jason Kidd: Again, more of the same about not trading him for the sake of trading him, looking for the best deal. Sky is still blue, grass still green, Rod Thorn still not trading Kidd unless he gets a great offer.
4. Vince Carter: Thorn addressed that some people thought his contract was bad, and battled back using the typical pure numbers argument. Vince was the leading scorer, and the team was 0-5 without him. He did not address MY issues - that there was no market for Vince last summer, hence he was overpaid.
So they turned to the audience to ask questions. It was pretty cool, as you sat literally next to Rod Thorn, like if you went to a movie theater with him. On your right was Chris Carrino, the Nets radio voice and emcee. On your left was Thorn, followed by Bruce Ratner (owner), Kiki Vandeweghe (Rod's assistant), and Brett Yormark (head of marketing). The majority of the questions focused around the topics Thorn already addressed - i.e. Coach Frank, Jason Kidd, finding a big man, etc.
I wasn't going to ask a question until I heard a few. After the first ones were basically deep tissue massages for management (I honestly believe a few had to be planted), I figured I should go up - this is my chance to complain TO ROD - it'd be disingenuous if I go back on the Internet and complain without having the guts to saying anything to his face. So I go up there, and I must've looked really dorky - I'm a skinny white kid and my face was beat-red (I was nervous). Anyway, here's a rough transcript:
"Hey Rod. I've been a fan for a long time, and I'd be really remiss if I didn't get to ask a question. This is my first time at the Town Hall meeting, and after my question, it might be my last time. I was going to go up here and rip you about Mikki (note: this is true, I made sure to look up Mikki's and Magloire's stats before going), but you already apologized for that. And I accept your apology - everyone makes mistakes, that's why pencils have erasers.
Now...
Could I get an apology for Jamal Magloire, Jeff McInnis, Chris Childs, Ron Mercer, Scott Padgett, selling the 2004 draft pick, trading Korver for nothing..."
I trailed off, as I was trying to think of the ones I forgot (Wright over Granger, dammit!) but the crowd had already started applauding and the management was laughing. After it settled down (and I heard Ratner mumble something about selling the 04 pick - maybe not his fault? The Goldman Sachs investors? I forget how the story went), Rod went onto explain how sometimes things work, sometimes things don't, how they all looked good when it happened (I had to bite my tongue, because none of those did in my mind). Kiki added that if you aren't making mistakes, you aren't trying. I wish they would print THAT in the media guide. Chris Carrino made a joke as I went off stage, saying that security has my picture.
A couple questions later, an the angry European guy came on and ripped into the team, saying he used to take his kids to the game as a reward, now he uses it as a punishment. He left them speechless.
Overall, it wasn't anything new, but I didn't expect it to be. When your boss calls you out at work for all your mistakes, you never own up - you just bullshit and beat around the bush. This was similar. My friend thought I should've asked a more "answerable" question - but I decided to stick with something jokey, like a pie-in-the-face. If I went up there and did a "here's what I would've done with the team" and played fantasy GM, I think their eyes would've glazed over and they would've given more of the same type answers. At least now they'll remember my question.
Well, that's it. At least I remember my question. It is worth noting that after this, they traded Jason Kidd later in the week. I like to think my question was responsible for that move.
Labels:
awkward confrontations,
nets town hall,
old posts
Monday, July 6, 2009
Random Nets Crap - 2005 Nets Calendar
As a long-time Nets fan, I've compiled a shitload of Nets memorabilia and freebies throughout the years. Now, feast your eyes on the more ridiculous and obscure paraphernalia in a blog feature I call....RANDOM NETS CRAP!
(Click on images to enlarge)
2005 NETS WALL CALENDAR!

Allow me to set the scene: It is May 2004. After a tumultuous season involving a coach change, an ownership change, and the announcement of a city change, the Nets had just won a thrilling triple over-time game against the Detroit Pistons, in Detroit, to take a 3-2 lead in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. It was an instant classic, with huge contributions from Lucious Harris and Brian Scalabrine - the less-heralded stars of the two previous Eastern Conference Championship runs. Sadly, the Nets lost the next two games, due mainly to Jason Kidd's knee being in desperate need of microfracture surgery. The Nets went home. The Pistons went on to be champions.
And, with that, the Nets "Glory Days" were definitively over. While there will most likely be better Nets teams in the future, the teams from 2001 to 2004 have given me the stories I will bore my grandchildren to tears with. I usually begin the era with the dramatic home win against the Spurs in the beginning of 2002, and end it with the aforementioned Game 5 against Detroit.
Then came the Summer of 2004. At the time, it was a horrific sequence of events for Nets fans. Our first round pick, sold. Kerry Kittles, traded. Kenyon Martin and Lucious Harris, victims of free agency. Our team, which had just taken the eventual champions to 7 games with our best player on one leg, was a shell of itself.
Now, granted, history has shown us that the Nets moves were, for the most part, very good. Both Lucious Harris and Kerry Kittles made very little contributions in the NBA after 2004, so those moves were clear wins. Selling the 2004 draft pick, however, is indefensible. While the person drafted (Victor Khryapa) was a bust, there was still plenty of talent to be had - Kevin Martin, Delonte West, Anderson Varejao, Sasha Vujacic, and Beno Udrih just to name a few.
But, onto the big kahuna - K-Mart. Kenyon Martin is something that most people see as a smart move, given the injuries he has suffered and the enormous amount of money he was paid. Furthermore, two of the three draft picks he was traded for were parlayed into Vince Carter. I admit that letting Kenyon go was most likely the best option. But, since 2004, the Nets have had a gaping hole at power forward, and have tried nearly every summer to fill it. In the 2005 season, the Nets used a trade exemption to pick up Cliff Robinson. Then, in the summer of 2005, they pursued Shareef Abdur-Rahim. That failed, but led to the unsuccessful acquisition of Marc Jackson. In 2006, Josh Boone and Mikki Moore were recruited to try to man the four-spot. In 2007, they somehow made worse moves than the previous 2 years with Sean Williams and Jamal Magliore. In 2008, Yi Jianlian, Ryan Anderson, and Eduardo Najera were brought in to man that troublesome power forward spot. We are entering 5 A.K. (After Kenyon), and there is still nobody on the roster that resembles an acceptable starting power forward. A starting power forward is nothing to take lightly in the NBA, and that is why I still have my doubts about letting Kenyon go. Let's just play make believe for a second (it's MY blog, indulge me). Kenyon Martin has complained in the past that Denver Nuggets doctors had rushed him back from injury too soon. What if - and it is a big "what if" - the Nets doctors were better, and Kenyon had been able to make complete recoveries from his injuries? Watching Kenyon this postseason, I can't help wonder what could have been.
Needless to say, there was not a lot of enthusiasm for the team by November 2004, as (I assume) these calendars were going to print. Nenad Krstic looked too raw, Alonzo Mourning was accusing the team of trying to kill him, and free agent acquisitions like Jabari Smith, Eric Williams, Rodney Buford, and Ron Mercer were, let's say, slightly uninspiring. But, by mid-December, the unthinkable happened - the Nets acquired Vince Carter for a bag of magic beans, and the franchise was back in business!
But enough with the history, let's look at the pics and make snarky comments!
January 2005

Well, the Nets promotional department saved their best for first. When in doubt, show off The Captain. I could wax nostalgic about Jason Kidd all day (and already have), so I'll spare you all. He's the greatest Nets I've seen.
A couple notes about the calendar, not only does it provide you with your standard calendar reminders (like the day of the week and certain holidays), but also Net games, home promotions, and player birthdays. Keep this in mind as we move forward through the next 11 months.
February 2005

RJ. Here's a list of players over the last 15 years who were upset when the Nets traded them:
Richard Jefferson
That's it. Clearly, a great player that will go down in Nets lore.
According to the calendar, February 11th must have been a fun day to go to the Nets game! Not only did you get to see the Spurs, but kids also received a basketball hoop set. And then, there's the icing on the cake - it was Jacque Vaughn's 30th birthday! Let's see how they did...oh. Well, at least Vince Carter had a good game.
March 2005

TWIN! Admittedly, I have a soft spot in my heart for Twin. While he played extremely poorly in the last few seasons, he gave it his all every night. He sacrificed his body and did everything he could with his talent to help the Nets win. Tell me friend, can you ask for anything more? That being said, it shows the state of the team when Jason Collins is the third player you are showing off.
April 2005

What's this? Vince Carter? How did he get here? As you can see, he is not in a Nets jersey. This was clearly a late addition to the calendar, but I'm sure the promotional guy got some praise for pulling this off. He was acquired December 17th, and these calendars were handed out not too long after that.
May 2005

Coach Lawrence Frank. Back in 2004, everybody loved this guy, as he had the best dead coach bounce of all time. So I could see why they included him in the 2005 calendar. Flash forward to 2009, and he is the longest tenured coach in the Eastern Conference, and the all-time "winning-est" Nets coach. However, there has been a growing contingent of Nets fans who want Lawrence fired. I don't believe he has been the reason for the Nets failures the last two seasons, as the overall talent of the team has been very low. I do not think Lawrence is the best coach in the league, but there are lot of coaches who are much, much worse. I do not want the Nets to make a change for change's sake. Unfortunately, Frank is in the last year of his contract, so I doubt this story line will go away any time soon. I just hope it does not become a distraction.
June 2005

Zoran Planicic! Again, let me emphasize how depleted the Nets were going into 2005. I thought Zoran had a lot of potential, and, apparently, he has carved out a solid career overseas. It is frustrating that in the illustrious 2003 NBA Draft, Zoran is what the Nets walked away with. There was a lot of talent drafted after him, too, namely Josh Howard, Leandro Barbosa, and Mo Williams, as well as a plethora of role players. And don't mention Kyle Korver to me (but it is funny that as soon as Ed Stefanski showed up in Philadelphia, he traded Korver again).
July 2005

Sly the Fox. Yes, folks, the Nets could not get 12 players pictures to fill one calendar. And, yes, it gets worse. And, no, no Sly Mobile. But hey, I just found out Travis Best's birthday is July 12th! Party in two weeks, anybody?
August 2005

Jason Kidd. Getting a sense of deja vu? So, through 8 months, there have been 5 players, a coach, and a anthropomorphic mascot. I'm already counting the days until 2006.
September 2005

Richard Jefferson. No disguise for this double vision. Zoran's birthday is September 12th. Don't worry, just three more months.
October 2005

Team Hype? Really? OK, you could justify Sly, because he entertains the kids. You could justify cheerleaders, because they entertain horny men. But who is Team Hype hyping?
The calendar seems to be going down a slippery slope. Two more months to go, and November features my birthday, so this better be good....
November 2005

VEAL!!!! Wow, did you see this coming? That might be the dorkiest action shot to grace the pages of any wall calendar. Rodney Buford is also present in the background, which is fitting because the calendar reminds us that Buef's birthday is November 2nd. Not bad, wall calendar. You have redeemed yourself.
And finally...
December 2005

The Nets Dancers. Bingo. Sure, they all look poorly airbrushed, but it is the thought that counts.
So there you have it. The Nets marketing department, pulling out all the stops to make you forget about the last 6 months of 2004 and get all hands on deck for 2005. It was a little dicey from May to October, but overall I'd say the calendar did its job. Unfortunately, like the calendar, the events of 2005 between May and October were just as bleak in Nets land, as the Summer of 2005 was almost as much of a disaster of the Summer of 2004. But, that is a topic for another time.
(Click on images to enlarge)
2005 NETS WALL CALENDAR!
Allow me to set the scene: It is May 2004. After a tumultuous season involving a coach change, an ownership change, and the announcement of a city change, the Nets had just won a thrilling triple over-time game against the Detroit Pistons, in Detroit, to take a 3-2 lead in the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals. It was an instant classic, with huge contributions from Lucious Harris and Brian Scalabrine - the less-heralded stars of the two previous Eastern Conference Championship runs. Sadly, the Nets lost the next two games, due mainly to Jason Kidd's knee being in desperate need of microfracture surgery. The Nets went home. The Pistons went on to be champions.
And, with that, the Nets "Glory Days" were definitively over. While there will most likely be better Nets teams in the future, the teams from 2001 to 2004 have given me the stories I will bore my grandchildren to tears with. I usually begin the era with the dramatic home win against the Spurs in the beginning of 2002, and end it with the aforementioned Game 5 against Detroit.
Then came the Summer of 2004. At the time, it was a horrific sequence of events for Nets fans. Our first round pick, sold. Kerry Kittles, traded. Kenyon Martin and Lucious Harris, victims of free agency. Our team, which had just taken the eventual champions to 7 games with our best player on one leg, was a shell of itself.
Now, granted, history has shown us that the Nets moves were, for the most part, very good. Both Lucious Harris and Kerry Kittles made very little contributions in the NBA after 2004, so those moves were clear wins. Selling the 2004 draft pick, however, is indefensible. While the person drafted (Victor Khryapa) was a bust, there was still plenty of talent to be had - Kevin Martin, Delonte West, Anderson Varejao, Sasha Vujacic, and Beno Udrih just to name a few.
But, onto the big kahuna - K-Mart. Kenyon Martin is something that most people see as a smart move, given the injuries he has suffered and the enormous amount of money he was paid. Furthermore, two of the three draft picks he was traded for were parlayed into Vince Carter. I admit that letting Kenyon go was most likely the best option. But, since 2004, the Nets have had a gaping hole at power forward, and have tried nearly every summer to fill it. In the 2005 season, the Nets used a trade exemption to pick up Cliff Robinson. Then, in the summer of 2005, they pursued Shareef Abdur-Rahim. That failed, but led to the unsuccessful acquisition of Marc Jackson. In 2006, Josh Boone and Mikki Moore were recruited to try to man the four-spot. In 2007, they somehow made worse moves than the previous 2 years with Sean Williams and Jamal Magliore. In 2008, Yi Jianlian, Ryan Anderson, and Eduardo Najera were brought in to man that troublesome power forward spot. We are entering 5 A.K. (After Kenyon), and there is still nobody on the roster that resembles an acceptable starting power forward. A starting power forward is nothing to take lightly in the NBA, and that is why I still have my doubts about letting Kenyon go. Let's just play make believe for a second (it's MY blog, indulge me). Kenyon Martin has complained in the past that Denver Nuggets doctors had rushed him back from injury too soon. What if - and it is a big "what if" - the Nets doctors were better, and Kenyon had been able to make complete recoveries from his injuries? Watching Kenyon this postseason, I can't help wonder what could have been.
Needless to say, there was not a lot of enthusiasm for the team by November 2004, as (I assume) these calendars were going to print. Nenad Krstic looked too raw, Alonzo Mourning was accusing the team of trying to kill him, and free agent acquisitions like Jabari Smith, Eric Williams, Rodney Buford, and Ron Mercer were, let's say, slightly uninspiring. But, by mid-December, the unthinkable happened - the Nets acquired Vince Carter for a bag of magic beans, and the franchise was back in business!
But enough with the history, let's look at the pics and make snarky comments!
January 2005
Well, the Nets promotional department saved their best for first. When in doubt, show off The Captain. I could wax nostalgic about Jason Kidd all day (and already have), so I'll spare you all. He's the greatest Nets I've seen.
A couple notes about the calendar, not only does it provide you with your standard calendar reminders (like the day of the week and certain holidays), but also Net games, home promotions, and player birthdays. Keep this in mind as we move forward through the next 11 months.
February 2005
RJ. Here's a list of players over the last 15 years who were upset when the Nets traded them:
Richard Jefferson
That's it. Clearly, a great player that will go down in Nets lore.
According to the calendar, February 11th must have been a fun day to go to the Nets game! Not only did you get to see the Spurs, but kids also received a basketball hoop set. And then, there's the icing on the cake - it was Jacque Vaughn's 30th birthday! Let's see how they did...oh. Well, at least Vince Carter had a good game.
March 2005
TWIN! Admittedly, I have a soft spot in my heart for Twin. While he played extremely poorly in the last few seasons, he gave it his all every night. He sacrificed his body and did everything he could with his talent to help the Nets win. Tell me friend, can you ask for anything more? That being said, it shows the state of the team when Jason Collins is the third player you are showing off.
April 2005
What's this? Vince Carter? How did he get here? As you can see, he is not in a Nets jersey. This was clearly a late addition to the calendar, but I'm sure the promotional guy got some praise for pulling this off. He was acquired December 17th, and these calendars were handed out not too long after that.
May 2005
Coach Lawrence Frank. Back in 2004, everybody loved this guy, as he had the best dead coach bounce of all time. So I could see why they included him in the 2005 calendar. Flash forward to 2009, and he is the longest tenured coach in the Eastern Conference, and the all-time "winning-est" Nets coach. However, there has been a growing contingent of Nets fans who want Lawrence fired. I don't believe he has been the reason for the Nets failures the last two seasons, as the overall talent of the team has been very low. I do not think Lawrence is the best coach in the league, but there are lot of coaches who are much, much worse. I do not want the Nets to make a change for change's sake. Unfortunately, Frank is in the last year of his contract, so I doubt this story line will go away any time soon. I just hope it does not become a distraction.
June 2005
Zoran Planicic! Again, let me emphasize how depleted the Nets were going into 2005. I thought Zoran had a lot of potential, and, apparently, he has carved out a solid career overseas. It is frustrating that in the illustrious 2003 NBA Draft, Zoran is what the Nets walked away with. There was a lot of talent drafted after him, too, namely Josh Howard, Leandro Barbosa, and Mo Williams, as well as a plethora of role players. And don't mention Kyle Korver to me (but it is funny that as soon as Ed Stefanski showed up in Philadelphia, he traded Korver again).
July 2005
Sly the Fox. Yes, folks, the Nets could not get 12 players pictures to fill one calendar. And, yes, it gets worse. And, no, no Sly Mobile. But hey, I just found out Travis Best's birthday is July 12th! Party in two weeks, anybody?
August 2005
Jason Kidd. Getting a sense of deja vu? So, through 8 months, there have been 5 players, a coach, and a anthropomorphic mascot. I'm already counting the days until 2006.
September 2005
Richard Jefferson. No disguise for this double vision. Zoran's birthday is September 12th. Don't worry, just three more months.
October 2005
Team Hype? Really? OK, you could justify Sly, because he entertains the kids. You could justify cheerleaders, because they entertain horny men. But who is Team Hype hyping?
The calendar seems to be going down a slippery slope. Two more months to go, and November features my birthday, so this better be good....
November 2005
VEAL!!!! Wow, did you see this coming? That might be the dorkiest action shot to grace the pages of any wall calendar. Rodney Buford is also present in the background, which is fitting because the calendar reminds us that Buef's birthday is November 2nd. Not bad, wall calendar. You have redeemed yourself.
And finally...
December 2005
The Nets Dancers. Bingo. Sure, they all look poorly airbrushed, but it is the thought that counts.
So there you have it. The Nets marketing department, pulling out all the stops to make you forget about the last 6 months of 2004 and get all hands on deck for 2005. It was a little dicey from May to October, but overall I'd say the calendar did its job. Unfortunately, like the calendar, the events of 2005 between May and October were just as bleak in Nets land, as the Summer of 2005 was almost as much of a disaster of the Summer of 2004. But, that is a topic for another time.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Say Goodbye, It's Independence Day
Now, I've taken a couple weeks off and let other people write for my blog, and people ask "Hey, you lazy bum, why don't you write more?" Well, it is the offseason, so I'm trying to space my posts out so the blog isn't dormant in August and September.
BUT, it is summer movie season! As you could tell from my previous post, I am a HUGE fan of Independence Day. My homage to it is now posted on the comic book/pop culture blog The Bad Genious. Click here to read it. If you love my trips through memory lane in Nets-land, you'll love my trip through memory lane in Movie-land.
The Bad Genious is a great blog, so I encourage you to check it out frequently!
BUT, it is summer movie season! As you could tell from my previous post, I am a HUGE fan of Independence Day. My homage to it is now posted on the comic book/pop culture blog The Bad Genious. Click here to read it. If you love my trips through memory lane in Nets-land, you'll love my trip through memory lane in Movie-land.
The Bad Genious is a great blog, so I encourage you to check it out frequently!
Labels:
Bad Genious,
Independence Day,
Links,
Movie Reviews
Monday, June 29, 2009
It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
"Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn." - Michael Stipe
It's almost July 4th, which means I've been watching my favorite movie: Independence Day. It start's with the R.E.M. song "It's The End Of The World As We Know It", which has pretty much been the sentiment among Nets fans after last Thursday's events. The above lyric sums it up: the roster has been slashed and burned, we've returned to being the league's doormat, and everybody just has a knot in their stomachs.

I admit, on Thursday I felt the same way, too. It was tough to enjoy the draft, as I couldn't really focus, thinking about how the team would be next year. The only thing I knew for certain that would be positive about this trade was that it would give me something to write about for the blog. So I've organize my thoughts, and tried to put my honest opinions down.
1. Vince Carter. Well, I have to admit, I was never a fan of Vince Carter's game. As mention in last week's Keith Van Horn article, the late 90s gave birth to a lot of "highlight reel" stars, which are stars that were all flash, but couldn't guarantee you victories. VC, arguably, is one of them. He has not been on a team that has won more than 50 games in a season, and has never been past the second round of the playoffs. Now, that MOST LIKELY will change in Orlando, but it's still indicative of a lack of having that killer instinct (like Kobe and Duncan have).
It was always tough for me to fully embrace Vince the way others did. As a kid, my favorite players weren't Shaq or Jordan, but rather Penny Hardaway and Shawn Kemp. I liked guys who were very fast, pass-oriented, run-and-gun type players. And, clearly, Vince does not fit that mode. Another issue I had with him were the end of the game "heroics". He took too many contested jump shots, rather than driving the lane or getting other teammates involved. Granted, this strategy was not a total failure, as there were tons of times where VC was successful and produced some of the most memorable highlights of the last 5 years. Basically, having Vince Carter on your team is a lot like playing blackjack. You'll have hot streaks (as the Nets won 14 games in a row, and an Atlantic Division crown), and cold streaks (the last two seasons). In the end, if you play your cards to the best of your ability, your odds of winning are just 50/50. The Nets winning percentage since trading for Vince Carter on December 17th, 2004? 49.74%.

That being said, I'm not trying to be overly negative with Vince. Vince became a leader last year, and was clearly the best player on the team. The Nets have won 0 games without him since he joined the team (that is to say, they are 0-fer on games that Vince has missed due to injury). His lack of presence on the team will be glaring and extremely difficult to overcome. I believe the scientific term to describe the drop in talent from Vince Carter to Courtney Lee is "ginormous". All I am doing is pointing out that it is an arduous task to build a championship contending team with Vince Carter as your best player. On the Orlando Magic, Vince should only need to be the second or third best player, which will give him more success.
2. Ryan Anderson. Conversely, I am REALLY going to miss Ryan Anderson. While his numbers aren't particularly impressive, he showed some good basketball instincts - making little moves while positioning for rebounds, defending, and playing offense - that many other players take years to develop. His style of play should fit Orlando perfectly.
However, after initial vitriol on Thursday, I have accepted his departure. The reason he was thrown in and not Boon or Sean Williams was that he was on the books for 2010. Will free agents want to play with Devin Harris? Maybe. Will free agents want to play with Brook Lopez? Maybe. Will free agents want to play with Yi and get international exposure? Maybe. Will free agents wants to play with Ryan Anderson? That's probably a No. There are many more "Ryan Andersons" in the future. But, he should have a good NBA career.
In Bill Simmons' Draft Diary, he joked that Terrence Williams will be able to dress up as Star Wars characters with Brook Lopez. Ryan already beat him to the punch:
3. Courtney Lee. I don't know much about him, other than that silly mask and that missed layup in the Finals. But, he had pretty good numbers last season and is still very young. Could he break out like Devin Harris did last season? Both were role players on disappointing Finals teams that were traded for Nets icons. All I know is that Magic fans hated losing him, which brings me to my next point...
4. Magic Fans Don't Like It. It is very tough to judge any trade involving your favorite team without rose-colored glasses. My initial gut instinct was I felt the Nets needed just a little more to make it even - a future first round pick, two second round picks, etc. But, over on the Orlando Magic message boards, they felt giving up Courtney Lee was too much. Many suggested giving up JJ Redick instead. Even the Magic GM has called Vince Carter "Fool's Gold" in the past. So, perhaps it is not as lopsided as many Nets fans believe. In fact, there have been many columnists who have praised the trade as beneficial to both teams. I particularly liked this analysis by Kelly Dwyer of Ball Don't Lie.
5. It's about the championship. In high school, I finished 3rd in my graduating class. My mom told me that this is just as good as finishing 103rd, since only the top 2 students give speeches at graduation. Really, the same principle applies to the NBA. There's the NBA champion, and then there's 29 other teams.

From the Orlando Magic point-of-view, their window of opportunity is right now, so they mortgaged their young talent and cap space for a chance at the big cup. The Nets were a 34-win team for two consecutive seasons, and were stuck in that 8-14 pick lottery hell. To me, winning 40 games and missing the playoffs is more frustrating than winning 15 games and missing the playoffs. As a fan, I've seen the Nets make the playoffs. I've seen the Nets make the Finals (twice)! I want to see a championship, and clearing cap room and acquiring young talent is at least going in the right direction.
6. History repeating. This, unfortunately, isn't the first time the Nets have made moves that caused fans to throw up their arms and declare the franchise dead. Many remember the Summer of 2004, and I will go into that in detail next week. But, do you recall the outrage after draft day in 2001? When the Nets acquired Jason Kidd and Richard Jefferson for Stephon Marbury and Eddie Griffin? Surely, I cannot be serious. But, reactions were mixed at the time, and there were accusations of - get this - the owners not wanting to spend money on a winning team. Sound familiar? Read this excerpt from Peter Vecsey (found in the Joe Netsfan archives):
"Thorn views Jefferson, Collins and Pepperdine's Brandon Armstrong as roster fodder, er, assets, something the team conspicuously lacks. Especially in terms of big men who can make shots. More importantly, ownership doesn't have to overpay for veterans, particularly one at the mid-level $4.5M cap exception [...]
"Now comes word of the impending (soon as the clock strikes midnight, July 18) Sayonara to Stephon Marbury. [...] The packaging of point guards may or may not make the Nets better. But, in keeping with the grand scheme of the Garden State, it'll eventually reduce the budget and help avoid paying any luxury tax [...] Marbury has four more years left on his contract, worth $52M, while Kidd is on the clock for half that time for the relative bargain of $17.6M. [...]
"You've heard of winning at all cost. Meet the New Jersey Nets, proud practitioners of lose at no cost."
Well, here we are 8 years later, and many are writing the same on blogs and internet forums. Vecsey, obviously, looks foolish in retrospect, seeing that the Nets went on to have their best season in franchise history. How will we look at what people are saying about this trade in the future?
7. Into the Great Unknown... Honestly, I have no idea how history will look back at this. Loyal readers know I suck at predictions. If Orlando wins a ring, then they clearly will have no regrets about the trade. But, this trade raises many questions. Will Vince Carter, now 32, be able to remain healthy? Is Courtney Lee ready to break out? Will the Nets be able to sign a big name free agent with their cap space? Like the Richard Jefferson trade last summer, it cannot be evaluated until the big summer of 2010. And even if the Nets fail that summer, there is always next summer.
That's the beauty of following a sports team - it doesn't end. Nothing is permanent. The Nets will still play 82 games next year, regardless of who is and isn't on the team. Let's look at Orlando's franchise. in the early 90s, they hit the lottery - twice - and were suddenly transformed into a championship contender, making the Finals in 1995. Then, Jordan came back, Shaq left, Penny got injured, they dumped a lot of salaries, signed Tracy McGrady and Grant Hill, Hill got injured, got knocked out of the first round, lost 19 games in a row, dumped a lot of salaries, won the lottery, signed Hedo and Lewis, and, 14 years later, they were back in the NBA Finals. That franchise has had a few ups and downs, wouldn't you say so? Like the Nets, Orlando has a small but proud fanbase, and if they can stick with the team on that decade-long roller coaster ride, we should too.
As of right now, the Nets are tied for the best and worst record in the NBA. I cannot wait for the start of the season.
It's almost July 4th, which means I've been watching my favorite movie: Independence Day. It start's with the R.E.M. song "It's The End Of The World As We Know It", which has pretty much been the sentiment among Nets fans after last Thursday's events. The above lyric sums it up: the roster has been slashed and burned, we've returned to being the league's doormat, and everybody just has a knot in their stomachs.

I admit, on Thursday I felt the same way, too. It was tough to enjoy the draft, as I couldn't really focus, thinking about how the team would be next year. The only thing I knew for certain that would be positive about this trade was that it would give me something to write about for the blog. So I've organize my thoughts, and tried to put my honest opinions down.
1. Vince Carter. Well, I have to admit, I was never a fan of Vince Carter's game. As mention in last week's Keith Van Horn article, the late 90s gave birth to a lot of "highlight reel" stars, which are stars that were all flash, but couldn't guarantee you victories. VC, arguably, is one of them. He has not been on a team that has won more than 50 games in a season, and has never been past the second round of the playoffs. Now, that MOST LIKELY will change in Orlando, but it's still indicative of a lack of having that killer instinct (like Kobe and Duncan have).
It was always tough for me to fully embrace Vince the way others did. As a kid, my favorite players weren't Shaq or Jordan, but rather Penny Hardaway and Shawn Kemp. I liked guys who were very fast, pass-oriented, run-and-gun type players. And, clearly, Vince does not fit that mode. Another issue I had with him were the end of the game "heroics". He took too many contested jump shots, rather than driving the lane or getting other teammates involved. Granted, this strategy was not a total failure, as there were tons of times where VC was successful and produced some of the most memorable highlights of the last 5 years. Basically, having Vince Carter on your team is a lot like playing blackjack. You'll have hot streaks (as the Nets won 14 games in a row, and an Atlantic Division crown), and cold streaks (the last two seasons). In the end, if you play your cards to the best of your ability, your odds of winning are just 50/50. The Nets winning percentage since trading for Vince Carter on December 17th, 2004? 49.74%.

That being said, I'm not trying to be overly negative with Vince. Vince became a leader last year, and was clearly the best player on the team. The Nets have won 0 games without him since he joined the team (that is to say, they are 0-fer on games that Vince has missed due to injury). His lack of presence on the team will be glaring and extremely difficult to overcome. I believe the scientific term to describe the drop in talent from Vince Carter to Courtney Lee is "ginormous". All I am doing is pointing out that it is an arduous task to build a championship contending team with Vince Carter as your best player. On the Orlando Magic, Vince should only need to be the second or third best player, which will give him more success.
2. Ryan Anderson. Conversely, I am REALLY going to miss Ryan Anderson. While his numbers aren't particularly impressive, he showed some good basketball instincts - making little moves while positioning for rebounds, defending, and playing offense - that many other players take years to develop. His style of play should fit Orlando perfectly.
However, after initial vitriol on Thursday, I have accepted his departure. The reason he was thrown in and not Boon or Sean Williams was that he was on the books for 2010. Will free agents want to play with Devin Harris? Maybe. Will free agents want to play with Brook Lopez? Maybe. Will free agents want to play with Yi and get international exposure? Maybe. Will free agents wants to play with Ryan Anderson? That's probably a No. There are many more "Ryan Andersons" in the future. But, he should have a good NBA career.
In Bill Simmons' Draft Diary, he joked that Terrence Williams will be able to dress up as Star Wars characters with Brook Lopez. Ryan already beat him to the punch:
3. Courtney Lee. I don't know much about him, other than that silly mask and that missed layup in the Finals. But, he had pretty good numbers last season and is still very young. Could he break out like Devin Harris did last season? Both were role players on disappointing Finals teams that were traded for Nets icons. All I know is that Magic fans hated losing him, which brings me to my next point...
4. Magic Fans Don't Like It. It is very tough to judge any trade involving your favorite team without rose-colored glasses. My initial gut instinct was I felt the Nets needed just a little more to make it even - a future first round pick, two second round picks, etc. But, over on the Orlando Magic message boards, they felt giving up Courtney Lee was too much. Many suggested giving up JJ Redick instead. Even the Magic GM has called Vince Carter "Fool's Gold" in the past. So, perhaps it is not as lopsided as many Nets fans believe. In fact, there have been many columnists who have praised the trade as beneficial to both teams. I particularly liked this analysis by Kelly Dwyer of Ball Don't Lie.
5. It's about the championship. In high school, I finished 3rd in my graduating class. My mom told me that this is just as good as finishing 103rd, since only the top 2 students give speeches at graduation. Really, the same principle applies to the NBA. There's the NBA champion, and then there's 29 other teams.

From the Orlando Magic point-of-view, their window of opportunity is right now, so they mortgaged their young talent and cap space for a chance at the big cup. The Nets were a 34-win team for two consecutive seasons, and were stuck in that 8-14 pick lottery hell. To me, winning 40 games and missing the playoffs is more frustrating than winning 15 games and missing the playoffs. As a fan, I've seen the Nets make the playoffs. I've seen the Nets make the Finals (twice)! I want to see a championship, and clearing cap room and acquiring young talent is at least going in the right direction.
6. History repeating. This, unfortunately, isn't the first time the Nets have made moves that caused fans to throw up their arms and declare the franchise dead. Many remember the Summer of 2004, and I will go into that in detail next week. But, do you recall the outrage after draft day in 2001? When the Nets acquired Jason Kidd and Richard Jefferson for Stephon Marbury and Eddie Griffin? Surely, I cannot be serious. But, reactions were mixed at the time, and there were accusations of - get this - the owners not wanting to spend money on a winning team. Sound familiar? Read this excerpt from Peter Vecsey (found in the Joe Netsfan archives):
"Thorn views Jefferson, Collins and Pepperdine's Brandon Armstrong as roster fodder, er, assets, something the team conspicuously lacks. Especially in terms of big men who can make shots. More importantly, ownership doesn't have to overpay for veterans, particularly one at the mid-level $4.5M cap exception [...]
"Now comes word of the impending (soon as the clock strikes midnight, July 18) Sayonara to Stephon Marbury. [...] The packaging of point guards may or may not make the Nets better. But, in keeping with the grand scheme of the Garden State, it'll eventually reduce the budget and help avoid paying any luxury tax [...] Marbury has four more years left on his contract, worth $52M, while Kidd is on the clock for half that time for the relative bargain of $17.6M. [...]
"You've heard of winning at all cost. Meet the New Jersey Nets, proud practitioners of lose at no cost."
Well, here we are 8 years later, and many are writing the same on blogs and internet forums. Vecsey, obviously, looks foolish in retrospect, seeing that the Nets went on to have their best season in franchise history. How will we look at what people are saying about this trade in the future?
7. Into the Great Unknown... Honestly, I have no idea how history will look back at this. Loyal readers know I suck at predictions. If Orlando wins a ring, then they clearly will have no regrets about the trade. But, this trade raises many questions. Will Vince Carter, now 32, be able to remain healthy? Is Courtney Lee ready to break out? Will the Nets be able to sign a big name free agent with their cap space? Like the Richard Jefferson trade last summer, it cannot be evaluated until the big summer of 2010. And even if the Nets fail that summer, there is always next summer.
That's the beauty of following a sports team - it doesn't end. Nothing is permanent. The Nets will still play 82 games next year, regardless of who is and isn't on the team. Let's look at Orlando's franchise. in the early 90s, they hit the lottery - twice - and were suddenly transformed into a championship contender, making the Finals in 1995. Then, Jordan came back, Shaq left, Penny got injured, they dumped a lot of salaries, signed Tracy McGrady and Grant Hill, Hill got injured, got knocked out of the first round, lost 19 games in a row, dumped a lot of salaries, won the lottery, signed Hedo and Lewis, and, 14 years later, they were back in the NBA Finals. That franchise has had a few ups and downs, wouldn't you say so? Like the Nets, Orlando has a small but proud fanbase, and if they can stick with the team on that decade-long roller coaster ride, we should too.
As of right now, the Nets are tied for the best and worst record in the NBA. I cannot wait for the start of the season.
Friday, June 26, 2009
I Survived Thursday and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt (Which Will Come Off the Salary Cap in 2010)
So, Nets fans are jumping off the bandwagon or David Carradining themselves left and right after Thursday's events. While it is a well-written and informative blog, Nets Daily isn't exactly the place to turn to for optimism right now. Fear not, I'll have a new post Monday, after I've had a chance to clear my thoughts and destroy my liver. Drinking eases pain, right? RIGHT?
And for the record, I said 95% of Danny's mock draft was going to be wrong. My apologies. It was only 77% wrong.
And for the record, I said 95% of Danny's mock draft was going to be wrong. My apologies. It was only 77% wrong.
Labels:
Everybody chill the fuck out ok?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Danny Thoughts - Mock Draft
Before I let Danny take the floor, I just want to note that I am on the record as being strongly against mock drafts. What you see written below may most likely be 95% wrong. But, everybody's blog has SOME draft coverage, so for you fans of the 29 loser teams looking for some ray of light, or if you are just looking to kill five minutes on the interwebs, I present to you: Danny Thoughts.Volatility would best describe things like: 1) the NY Stock Exchange, 2) NY weather, 3) a reality television star’s “celebrity” life, and 4) the 2009 NBA Draft. All my years of being an avid NBA fan have not prepared me to encounter a draft like 2009. Besides Blake Griffin, I could make an argument for why almost every player in this draft could be taken 2-13. There are no stand-out players this year, but from what the “experts” say (ESPN, Draftexpress.com), this draft will improve the depth for most teams. Sadly, some of these teams (for example, ALL THE LOTTERY TEAMS), need a superstar, or at least a player that will contribute immediately in some basketball form.
Steven Scutti, an avid fan of good basketball and the Nets, went to Wake Forest and has a very good eye for figuring out NBA Mock Drafts. Besides a handful of promises, this mock draft is comprised of Steven and me going through each team’s roster and dissecting their needs and wants. In simpler terms, we shot darts in the dark on some of these picks because, seriously, how could you mock draft this year’s draft?! It’s practically impossible. But that’s what me and Steve have been doing since 2nd grade, making the impossible possible. Here we go!
1. LA Clippers - Blake Griffin
2. Memphis Grizzlies - Hasheem Thabeet
3. Oklahoma City Thunder - Ricky Rubio
(Editor's note: Ru-Bi-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
4. Sacramento Kings - Tyreke Evans
5. Minnesota Timberwolves - Stephen Curry
6. Minnesota Timberwolves – Jonny Flynn
7. Golden State Warriors - Jordan Hill
8. New York Knickerbockers - Brandon Jennings
9. Toronto Raptors – James Harden
10. Milwaukee Bucks – Jrue Holliday
11. New Jersey Nets - Tyler Hansbrough
12. Charlotte Bobcats - Terrence Williams
13. Indiana Pacers – Demar Derozan
14. Phoenix Suns – Earl Clark
15. Detroit Pistons – BJ Mullens
16. Chicago Bulls – Gerald Henderson
17. Philadelphia 76ers - Ty Lawson
18. Minnesota Timberwolves – Austin Daye
19. Atlanta Hawks – Jeff Teague
20. Utah Jazz – Sam Young
21. New Orleans Hornets – Dejuan Blair
22. Dallas Mavericks – James Johnson
23. Sacramento Kings – Omri Casspi
24. Portland Trailblazers – Darren Collison
25. Oklahoma City Thunder – Chase Budinger
26. Chicago Bulls – Derrick Brown
27. Memphis Grizzlies – Eric Maynor
28. Minnesota Timberwolves – Jonas Jerebko
29. LA Lakers – Wayne Ellington
30. Cleveland Cavaliers – Taj Gibson
This has been Danny Thoughts. Drive home safely.
Labels:
Danny Thoughts,
Mocking mock drafts,
nba draft
Monday, June 22, 2009
Random Nets Crap - Keith Van Hornet
As a long-time Nets fan, I've compiled a shitload of Nets memorabilia and freebies throughout the years. Now, feast your eyes on the more ridiculous and obscure paraphernalia in a blog feature I call....RANDOM NETS CRAP!
KEITH VAN HORNET
(Click on images to enlarge)




There's a lot to love and be frightened about this plush little guy. His crazy bug eyes. The kick-ass yet mildly phallic stinger. The adorably intimidating limerick.
Let's just begin with a bit of background to whatever spawned this mutant transformation of the New Jersey Ute. Meanies were just one of the countless rip-offs of Beanie Babies in the late 90s and early 00s. Basically, young heterosexual boys wanted to have something cuddly to collect, but also show off how bad-ass they were. Enter Meanies - the crotch-grabbing, tobacco-spitting gangstas of the plush beanie doll industry.
The thing that generated the most buzz for Meanies was their clever takes on celebrities. Bill Clinton became BULL Clinton! Mike Tyson is...wait for it...Mike BISON! Think Allen Iverson is safe? Oh no, because here comes ALIEN Iverson!

During the 1999-00 season, The Nets teamed up with the Meanies organization for a few give-aways as well. The first one was Stephon MarBEARy, then came Mr. Van Hornet. The last one was a version of Jayson Williams called Bison Williams - clearly, the fad had died and they were not trying anymore.
Now, astute readers may be wondering: "HEY RORY! Where's the rest of them?" Well, shut the fuck up. Yes, I did attend the games with my brother and mother where Stephon Marbeary and Keith Van Hornet were given out. I do not recall getting Bison Williams - we probably did not have tickets to that game. My brother and I grabbed as many as we could, and upon returning home, but them all on eBay.
You see, from about the ages of 10 to 16, I was constantly looking for the next big collectible. The biggest trends I threw myself into were comic books, actions figures, and basketball cards. My naive mind thought that these items would basically put me on easy street. I could out-fox the system, buying these items at retail price and reselling them on the secondary market. There was some success, but what I sold was usually "re-invested" back into more of the same item. Now, I still have a ton of these "collector's items" sitting in my mom's house that, perhaps one day, I'll be able to cash in. I now have more basketball cards of coaches and general managers than I do of active players. Action figures remain untouched - but they may have some value if I have children in the future. Comic books seemed to be the best of these investments, as some can still be read and enjoyed for their artistic merits (but I no longer worry about keeping them in MINT condition).
Anyway, the Nets Meanies would fetch a decent amount of scratch on eBay - usually around $40. God knows who was buying these things, and if they still have them. My brother and I pocketed this cash, but looking back, it probably should've gone to momma to help offset the cost of, you know, TAKING US TO THE GAME. What greedy little fucks we were.
So why did this Keith Van Hornet get spared from the Internets Garage Sale? In many ways, Keith Van Hornet is a lot like his real-life counterpart: Attempts to be cool and intimidating, but fails and just looks soft and lovable.
As you know, I usually use the Random Nets Crap feature to rant about a team or a player, and I already touched on Keith Van Horn a little in a past entry. Well, Keith Van Horn is a player I am unnecessarily sentimental about. Now, since I never claimed that this site will provide objective rational commentary, I present to you:
The Shameless Keith Van Horn Apologist's Top 5 Excuses for Keith Van Horn's Career!
1. Bad Timing
In the late 90s, the NBA was in the age of the "Me-First" young star. I believe the catalyst was the ridiculous Juwon Howard contract, but young players were getting too much fame and money without having accomplished anything in the NBA. Just as an example: If somebody gave me advice on how to write, I would listen, since I'm new at blogging. But if I somebody gave me a guaranteed $80M over 6 years to write based upon what I've written so far, I wouldn't give a shit about improving. With guys like Allen Iverson, Baron Davis, Stephon Marbury, Antoine Walker, etc. rolling around with millions and a double-digit entourage, you could tell it would not bode well for a dorky, reserved guy from Utah. Furthermore, he entered into the draft in 1997, where there was one clear great player (Tim Duncan), and a large talent drop off after that. Only two all-stars were picked after Duncan. One is Chauncy Billups, who took several seasons before finding his role in the NBA. The other is Tracy McGrady, an injury maligned franchise player who has not made it past the first round. Keith Van Horn was picked behind Tim Duncan, setting up point number 2...
2. Unrealistic Expectations
Keith Van Horn will always be remembered as the player picked after Tim Duncan. With Chauncy Billups record 7th straight conference finals appearance, Keith Van Horn is starting to get lumped in with other #2 busts like Sam Bowie and Shawn Bradley. Had Van Horn declared for the draft after his Junior year, he would have been remembered as another solid player in the amazing 1996 draft. He would not have been #2 (although still most likely a lottery pick), and expectations would have immediately been lowered. Also, as mentioned before, Van Horn was another player who got too much money too fast. By his third year, he already received a 7 year, $90M contract extension. Nets management made some silly decisions back then - such as the Marbury trade and Jayson Williams' contract, and this was another one. But, when you get paid like a franchise player, you need to perform like one. Van Horn was incredibly overpaid, and expectations became unreachable.
3. Bad Teams/Teammates
This all ties into the bad timing segment, as well. In his rookie year, he excelled and showed a lot of promise. That was because he played with veteran leaders like Sam Cassell and (gulp) Jayson Williams. The next 3 years were spent with Stephon Marbury - who can destroy any team. He absolutely murdered USA basketball. And, call me crazy, but I blame him for Kevin Garnett's injury on the Celtics, too. When Jason Kidd came on board, Van Horn turned around, too. But that was just one season, and then it was back to the nuthouse with Allen Iverson in Philly. After that, he was able to be a witness to the dawning of the Isiah Thomas Knicks. From there, it was the Terry Porter led Bucks. Finally, he was able to land with Dallas, where he found a good niche as Nowitzki's back-up. Of all the coaches he has had in his career, only Byron Scott is still coaching, and Lord Byron just presided over one of the worst playoff performances ever. Overall, he certainly didn't have good luck with teammates - with his biggest role model in his formative years being Jayson Williams.
4. Injuries
In a preseason game against the Knicks, Van Horn was lighting them up, and looking like The Great White Hope that he was billed to be. But it was in this game that he sprained his right ankle. Early injuries can haunt any rookie's career (hello, Josh Boone!). If you take a look at this page, you can see it is littered with right ankle sprains.
5. Screw everybody, he had a really good career!
He was a key part in two memorable Nets teams - the 97-98 team and the 01-02 team. In the latter, he was the leading rebounder and leading scorer (for most of the year until Kenyon Martin passed him slightly in the scoring load). Being the leading scorer and rebounder for a Finals team is something many players only dream about. For his efforts on the Nets, he was pictured on Slam Magazine twice, both times praising how good the entire team was. While the center, point guard, and small forward were different on the covers, Keith Van Horn and Kerry Kittles remained. After being bumped around the league like Jimmy Jackson, he ended up in Dallas, where he added another Finals appearance (although he was injured) to his resume. He was also instrumental in getting Devin Harris to the Nets for Jason Kidd after his retirement. Throw in career averages of 16/7 and decent shooting percentages of 44/36/84, and you have yourself a very good career my friends. Had not the 4 other factors killed his love of the game, he would be in the Michael Finley-esque portion of his career - playing about 25 mins and providing veteran leadership.
You go, Keith Van Hornet! Even though it may sting, you have to keep Van Horn's memory alive!
KEITH VAN HORNET
(Click on images to enlarge)
There's a lot to love and be frightened about this plush little guy. His crazy bug eyes. The kick-ass yet mildly phallic stinger. The adorably intimidating limerick.
Let's just begin with a bit of background to whatever spawned this mutant transformation of the New Jersey Ute. Meanies were just one of the countless rip-offs of Beanie Babies in the late 90s and early 00s. Basically, young heterosexual boys wanted to have something cuddly to collect, but also show off how bad-ass they were. Enter Meanies - the crotch-grabbing, tobacco-spitting gangstas of the plush beanie doll industry.
The thing that generated the most buzz for Meanies was their clever takes on celebrities. Bill Clinton became BULL Clinton! Mike Tyson is...wait for it...Mike BISON! Think Allen Iverson is safe? Oh no, because here comes ALIEN Iverson!
During the 1999-00 season, The Nets teamed up with the Meanies organization for a few give-aways as well. The first one was Stephon MarBEARy, then came Mr. Van Hornet. The last one was a version of Jayson Williams called Bison Williams - clearly, the fad had died and they were not trying anymore.
Now, astute readers may be wondering: "HEY RORY! Where's the rest of them?" Well, shut the fuck up. Yes, I did attend the games with my brother and mother where Stephon Marbeary and Keith Van Hornet were given out. I do not recall getting Bison Williams - we probably did not have tickets to that game. My brother and I grabbed as many as we could, and upon returning home, but them all on eBay.
You see, from about the ages of 10 to 16, I was constantly looking for the next big collectible. The biggest trends I threw myself into were comic books, actions figures, and basketball cards. My naive mind thought that these items would basically put me on easy street. I could out-fox the system, buying these items at retail price and reselling them on the secondary market. There was some success, but what I sold was usually "re-invested" back into more of the same item. Now, I still have a ton of these "collector's items" sitting in my mom's house that, perhaps one day, I'll be able to cash in. I now have more basketball cards of coaches and general managers than I do of active players. Action figures remain untouched - but they may have some value if I have children in the future. Comic books seemed to be the best of these investments, as some can still be read and enjoyed for their artistic merits (but I no longer worry about keeping them in MINT condition).
Anyway, the Nets Meanies would fetch a decent amount of scratch on eBay - usually around $40. God knows who was buying these things, and if they still have them. My brother and I pocketed this cash, but looking back, it probably should've gone to momma to help offset the cost of, you know, TAKING US TO THE GAME. What greedy little fucks we were.
So why did this Keith Van Hornet get spared from the Internets Garage Sale? In many ways, Keith Van Hornet is a lot like his real-life counterpart: Attempts to be cool and intimidating, but fails and just looks soft and lovable.
As you know, I usually use the Random Nets Crap feature to rant about a team or a player, and I already touched on Keith Van Horn a little in a past entry. Well, Keith Van Horn is a player I am unnecessarily sentimental about. Now, since I never claimed that this site will provide objective rational commentary, I present to you:
The Shameless Keith Van Horn Apologist's Top 5 Excuses for Keith Van Horn's Career!
1. Bad Timing
In the late 90s, the NBA was in the age of the "Me-First" young star. I believe the catalyst was the ridiculous Juwon Howard contract, but young players were getting too much fame and money without having accomplished anything in the NBA. Just as an example: If somebody gave me advice on how to write, I would listen, since I'm new at blogging. But if I somebody gave me a guaranteed $80M over 6 years to write based upon what I've written so far, I wouldn't give a shit about improving. With guys like Allen Iverson, Baron Davis, Stephon Marbury, Antoine Walker, etc. rolling around with millions and a double-digit entourage, you could tell it would not bode well for a dorky, reserved guy from Utah. Furthermore, he entered into the draft in 1997, where there was one clear great player (Tim Duncan), and a large talent drop off after that. Only two all-stars were picked after Duncan. One is Chauncy Billups, who took several seasons before finding his role in the NBA. The other is Tracy McGrady, an injury maligned franchise player who has not made it past the first round. Keith Van Horn was picked behind Tim Duncan, setting up point number 2...
2. Unrealistic Expectations
Keith Van Horn will always be remembered as the player picked after Tim Duncan. With Chauncy Billups record 7th straight conference finals appearance, Keith Van Horn is starting to get lumped in with other #2 busts like Sam Bowie and Shawn Bradley. Had Van Horn declared for the draft after his Junior year, he would have been remembered as another solid player in the amazing 1996 draft. He would not have been #2 (although still most likely a lottery pick), and expectations would have immediately been lowered. Also, as mentioned before, Van Horn was another player who got too much money too fast. By his third year, he already received a 7 year, $90M contract extension. Nets management made some silly decisions back then - such as the Marbury trade and Jayson Williams' contract, and this was another one. But, when you get paid like a franchise player, you need to perform like one. Van Horn was incredibly overpaid, and expectations became unreachable.
3. Bad Teams/Teammates
This all ties into the bad timing segment, as well. In his rookie year, he excelled and showed a lot of promise. That was because he played with veteran leaders like Sam Cassell and (gulp) Jayson Williams. The next 3 years were spent with Stephon Marbury - who can destroy any team. He absolutely murdered USA basketball. And, call me crazy, but I blame him for Kevin Garnett's injury on the Celtics, too. When Jason Kidd came on board, Van Horn turned around, too. But that was just one season, and then it was back to the nuthouse with Allen Iverson in Philly. After that, he was able to be a witness to the dawning of the Isiah Thomas Knicks. From there, it was the Terry Porter led Bucks. Finally, he was able to land with Dallas, where he found a good niche as Nowitzki's back-up. Of all the coaches he has had in his career, only Byron Scott is still coaching, and Lord Byron just presided over one of the worst playoff performances ever. Overall, he certainly didn't have good luck with teammates - with his biggest role model in his formative years being Jayson Williams.
4. Injuries
In a preseason game against the Knicks, Van Horn was lighting them up, and looking like The Great White Hope that he was billed to be. But it was in this game that he sprained his right ankle. Early injuries can haunt any rookie's career (hello, Josh Boone!). If you take a look at this page, you can see it is littered with right ankle sprains.
5. Screw everybody, he had a really good career!
He was a key part in two memorable Nets teams - the 97-98 team and the 01-02 team. In the latter, he was the leading rebounder and leading scorer (for most of the year until Kenyon Martin passed him slightly in the scoring load). Being the leading scorer and rebounder for a Finals team is something many players only dream about. For his efforts on the Nets, he was pictured on Slam Magazine twice, both times praising how good the entire team was. While the center, point guard, and small forward were different on the covers, Keith Van Horn and Kerry Kittles remained. After being bumped around the league like Jimmy Jackson, he ended up in Dallas, where he added another Finals appearance (although he was injured) to his resume. He was also instrumental in getting Devin Harris to the Nets for Jason Kidd after his retirement. Throw in career averages of 16/7 and decent shooting percentages of 44/36/84, and you have yourself a very good career my friends. Had not the 4 other factors killed his love of the game, he would be in the Michael Finley-esque portion of his career - playing about 25 mins and providing veteran leadership.
You go, Keith Van Hornet! Even though it may sting, you have to keep Van Horn's memory alive!
Labels:
Fads,
Keith Van Horn,
Random Nets Crap,
Shameless Apologists
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Ed O'Bannon Update!
Just scant weeks ago, I was gleefully mocking an Ed O'Bannon banner. Then, the other day, I get alerted to this nicely written piece about Ed's current career path. You should all check it out!
Labels:
Ed O'Bannon,
Links
Monday, June 15, 2009
Guest Entry - Spotting The Lakers Bandwagoners
Hey, this is Rory here, we'll get to our guest in a bit. First, a little backstory. Growing up in North Jersey, I was surrounded by mostly Knicks fans. Next, there were the Bulls fans (who jumped on with MJ). Finally, there were the lowly Nets fans.
But, when I went to NYU, I was able to meet a more diverse group of people from across the country. These people were die-hard fans of their local teams. I met a Dallas fan who saw his team both win 14 games to start a season and 14 games during an ENTIRE season. I love people who root for the home team - cheering for the Knicks or Bulls and not being from New York or Chicago just seems so wrong to me.
This NBA finals pitted two of my friends against each other - Santosh from Florida:

And Brad from LA:

So, as a courteous gesture, I offered the winner a chance to voice his joy to the world via this enormously popular blog. So, without further ado, I give you - Brad's thoughts. For more of Brad's thoughts and ramblings, please check out his podcast, The Brad Bogner Show.
As a Lakers fan (and most importantly a sports fan), we are well aware of the avalanche of news stories coming up this summer begging to ask the question of where the Lakers 15th championship puts Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson in the history books, among other topics. But let's talk instead about the bandwagon Los Angeles Lakers fans. While the organization has plenty of devout and suppotive followers, they have their share of frontrunning fanatics like the rest of the world. Here are some easy telltale signs to determine if someone you know might be a recent Lakers fan.
1. They own a car flag.

Ugh. You know these people. You're driving on the 405, and all the sudden the freeway is just littered with Lakers flags attached to the passenger side window of the car. These are the worst, because the frontrunning aspect is so obvious. These flags never come out before the Lakers are on the cusp of another championship (Similar to the now popular USC Trojan car flags, which only come up after a Rose Bowl victory). However, they're generally so annoying to look at, we should all be thankful they only sprout up in June for a few weeks.
2. No clue where the name "Lakers" comes from.

Part of being a fan is knowing the background of an organization, especially a team like Los Angeles rich with history. It's unsettling to know there are Lakers fans out there completely unaware of the fact the team moved from Minneapolis at one point. Especially troubling is the fact this most likely means they are also oblivious of the First Great Big Man in George "Mr. Basketball" Mikan.
Anyway, the Lakers name came from the Pacific Ocean, right???
3. Enjoyed "Kobe Doin' Work."

Movie sucked. It's as simple as that. I haven't seen a more boring movie in recent times. About the only positive thing someone could gain from this movie is that it was free. You would think having a fascinating athlete as well as a visionary director like Spike Lee would allow for quite a good film (I figured if ABC can attach "visionary writer" to David S. Goyer I can give the same to Spike. Yeah, David S. Goyer of Blade 3:Trinity fame is a visionary. I think it's safe to say Franklin and Einstein are rolling in their graves right about now). The film is also very campy and comes off like a cheesy basketball instructional video for kids at camp. The youths watching this will want to immediately go back to doing suicide sprints on the courts. I'll stick with Hubie Brown's DVD series.
4. Participates in a riot.

You'd think the fact the Lakers have now been involved in an unprecedented THIRTY NBA Finals (including fifteen victories), would mean the fans would act like they've been there before. "Riot after a title? Please. Wake me up when they six-peat." But seriously, we're watching East L.A. burn to the ground over this? You'd like to think some bandwagon Lakers fans could handle a championship with the cool, calm, collected demeanor of a Bill Russell.
5. Thinks Del Harris is the name of a fluffer from a Ron Jeremy set.

Now while Kurt Rambis was technically the interim and previous coach before Phil Jackson, Harris reigned over the Shaq/Kobe teams of the late 90's. While the Lakers consistently made the playoffs, and could usually get out of the first round, they always would get crushed by the Spurs or Jazz in the Western Conference Semi-Finals. "Oh, what's this? Malone's going to set up a high screen and roll for Stockton?" While I don't blame Del Harris for these failures per se, it's good to see that Jackson's nine seasons with the Lakers has led to six NBA Finals appearances, with four rings to show for it. Also, the next time someone tells you that Phil Jackson can only win with superstars, you should point out how Doug Collins in Chicago and Del Harris in Los Angeles presided over the same teams for several seasons and this whole winning thing is not as easy as it sounds. (Isn't it troubling to know that Del Harris has as many Coach of the Year honors as Phil Jackson? Shudder.)
6. Asks Shaq how his ass tastes after the 2009 NBA Finals.

There is no doubt the most recent championship was a huge milestone for Kobe's illustrious career, as well as eliminating the doubt he couldn't win a title without Shaq. But c'mon guys. The Big Fella was such an enormous part of the three-peat in the earlier part of the decade, and you have to tip your hat to how great he was in the Purple and Gold. His jersey will be in the rafters at Staples Center, and that's exactly where it belongs. I for one, am excited by the prospect of Cleveland's Danny Ferry finally pulling the trigger to trade for The Big Aristotle and seeing a Shaq v. Kobe 2010 NBA Finals. I'm sure ESPN will remain level-headed throughout that hypothetical contest.
There you have it. Some excellent criteria to determine if someone you know is a bandwagon Lakers fan. It was always funny to me growing up during the Randy Pfund and Del Harris coached years, and having people tell me how much the Lakers sucked. Then when they became unstoppable, I was the bandwagon fan! Nobody seemed to have beef with me being a Dodgers fan this entire time.
Now is the part where you can talk in the comments section about how Kobe is a rapist and Phil Jackson can't win without superstars. You can also tell me these things at a bar if you ever see me. Just be prepared to tell me who K.C. Jones is if you're a Celtics fan. Go Lakers.
But, when I went to NYU, I was able to meet a more diverse group of people from across the country. These people were die-hard fans of their local teams. I met a Dallas fan who saw his team both win 14 games to start a season and 14 games during an ENTIRE season. I love people who root for the home team - cheering for the Knicks or Bulls and not being from New York or Chicago just seems so wrong to me.
This NBA finals pitted two of my friends against each other - Santosh from Florida:

And Brad from LA:

So, as a courteous gesture, I offered the winner a chance to voice his joy to the world via this enormously popular blog. So, without further ado, I give you - Brad's thoughts. For more of Brad's thoughts and ramblings, please check out his podcast, The Brad Bogner Show.
As a Lakers fan (and most importantly a sports fan), we are well aware of the avalanche of news stories coming up this summer begging to ask the question of where the Lakers 15th championship puts Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson in the history books, among other topics. But let's talk instead about the bandwagon Los Angeles Lakers fans. While the organization has plenty of devout and suppotive followers, they have their share of frontrunning fanatics like the rest of the world. Here are some easy telltale signs to determine if someone you know might be a recent Lakers fan.
1. They own a car flag.
Ugh. You know these people. You're driving on the 405, and all the sudden the freeway is just littered with Lakers flags attached to the passenger side window of the car. These are the worst, because the frontrunning aspect is so obvious. These flags never come out before the Lakers are on the cusp of another championship (Similar to the now popular USC Trojan car flags, which only come up after a Rose Bowl victory). However, they're generally so annoying to look at, we should all be thankful they only sprout up in June for a few weeks.
2. No clue where the name "Lakers" comes from.
Part of being a fan is knowing the background of an organization, especially a team like Los Angeles rich with history. It's unsettling to know there are Lakers fans out there completely unaware of the fact the team moved from Minneapolis at one point. Especially troubling is the fact this most likely means they are also oblivious of the First Great Big Man in George "Mr. Basketball" Mikan.
Anyway, the Lakers name came from the Pacific Ocean, right???
3. Enjoyed "Kobe Doin' Work."
Movie sucked. It's as simple as that. I haven't seen a more boring movie in recent times. About the only positive thing someone could gain from this movie is that it was free. You would think having a fascinating athlete as well as a visionary director like Spike Lee would allow for quite a good film (I figured if ABC can attach "visionary writer" to David S. Goyer I can give the same to Spike. Yeah, David S. Goyer of Blade 3:Trinity fame is a visionary. I think it's safe to say Franklin and Einstein are rolling in their graves right about now). The film is also very campy and comes off like a cheesy basketball instructional video for kids at camp. The youths watching this will want to immediately go back to doing suicide sprints on the courts. I'll stick with Hubie Brown's DVD series.
4. Participates in a riot.

You'd think the fact the Lakers have now been involved in an unprecedented THIRTY NBA Finals (including fifteen victories), would mean the fans would act like they've been there before. "Riot after a title? Please. Wake me up when they six-peat." But seriously, we're watching East L.A. burn to the ground over this? You'd like to think some bandwagon Lakers fans could handle a championship with the cool, calm, collected demeanor of a Bill Russell.
5. Thinks Del Harris is the name of a fluffer from a Ron Jeremy set.

Now while Kurt Rambis was technically the interim and previous coach before Phil Jackson, Harris reigned over the Shaq/Kobe teams of the late 90's. While the Lakers consistently made the playoffs, and could usually get out of the first round, they always would get crushed by the Spurs or Jazz in the Western Conference Semi-Finals. "Oh, what's this? Malone's going to set up a high screen and roll for Stockton?" While I don't blame Del Harris for these failures per se, it's good to see that Jackson's nine seasons with the Lakers has led to six NBA Finals appearances, with four rings to show for it. Also, the next time someone tells you that Phil Jackson can only win with superstars, you should point out how Doug Collins in Chicago and Del Harris in Los Angeles presided over the same teams for several seasons and this whole winning thing is not as easy as it sounds. (Isn't it troubling to know that Del Harris has as many Coach of the Year honors as Phil Jackson? Shudder.)
6. Asks Shaq how his ass tastes after the 2009 NBA Finals.
There is no doubt the most recent championship was a huge milestone for Kobe's illustrious career, as well as eliminating the doubt he couldn't win a title without Shaq. But c'mon guys. The Big Fella was such an enormous part of the three-peat in the earlier part of the decade, and you have to tip your hat to how great he was in the Purple and Gold. His jersey will be in the rafters at Staples Center, and that's exactly where it belongs. I for one, am excited by the prospect of Cleveland's Danny Ferry finally pulling the trigger to trade for The Big Aristotle and seeing a Shaq v. Kobe 2010 NBA Finals. I'm sure ESPN will remain level-headed throughout that hypothetical contest.
There you have it. Some excellent criteria to determine if someone you know is a bandwagon Lakers fan. It was always funny to me growing up during the Randy Pfund and Del Harris coached years, and having people tell me how much the Lakers sucked. Then when they became unstoppable, I was the bandwagon fan! Nobody seemed to have beef with me being a Dodgers fan this entire time.
Now is the part where you can talk in the comments section about how Kobe is a rapist and Phil Jackson can't win without superstars. You can also tell me these things at a bar if you ever see me. Just be prepared to tell me who K.C. Jones is if you're a Celtics fan. Go Lakers.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Reader E-Mail - No. Nets. IN BROOKLYN!
OK, below is an e-mail from one of the blog followers. I was going to wait to publish a few e-mails at once, but the subject was Brooklyn, which there has been a lot of talk about in the last week. So I'm keeping it topical and adding my $0.02 about BK.
If you'd like me to answer your e-mail, please send to rory(dot)toohey(at)gmail. Thanks!
Rory,
Wanted to say great site and thanks for being a loyal Nets fan. I've been a fan and going to the games since I was 3, 24 now. I am completely sick to my stomach knowing that Ratner, hate the guy, is still going strong with this supposed move to Brooklyn. I've emailed the Nets and the Izod center plenty of times expressing my opinions and the Izod center actually got back to me and said they appreciate the support and they are doing what they can to keep the Nets here as well. I am fully in if you or anyone you know are doing anything to try and keep our team here. Thanks.
Anthony
Well, the Nets "imminent" move to Brooklyn seems to hit road block after road block, so I'm not quite sure when it will get done. The official word I get from my ticket rep and other Nets officials is 2011 - however, last year I was invited to an event where the theme was "Brooklyn in 2010 Come Hell or High Water." So I don't know what to believe. If it is any comfort to the pro-Jersey crowd, about three years ago, the Nets renewed their lease at the Meadowlands through 2013. I'm not sure what the terms are for breaking that lease, but it provides a safety net for future Barclays Center delays.
My thoughts? The Nets need a new arena, period. The Izod Center (a.k.a. Continental Arena a.k.a. Brendan Byrne Arena) is the second oldest arena in professional basketball, behind Madison Square Garden. It is incredibly inconvenient to get to if you do not drive (as documented in my second ever post). A new arena would re-invigorate a lethargic fanbase, and provide more revenue to the team (via luxury boxes).
Frankly, it seems the best option would be the new Prudential Center in Newark, where the Devils call home. The Nets will be playing some pre-season ball there this October. I have never been to the Rock yet, so I might just check this out. If you are pro-Jersey, going to the pre-season games would be the best way to show your Jersey pride. Usually, pre-season games have very low attendance in the Meadowlands, so a large showing would definitely make the owners take notice.
Ultimately, however, I think Brooklyn is best for the team long-term. The Nets will have a new arena that is accessible from tons of public transportation. They will have a large population of new fans, as Brooklyn is one of the most populous cities in the United States without a sports team. Furthermore, think of the merchandise sales: wearing a hat or jersey with "Brooklyn" on it definitely has more street cred than "New Jersey". The event I went to earlier (about Brooklyn in 2010) also mentioned setting up bus transportation from the Meadowlands to the new Brooklyn arena to help the loyal New Jersey fans, so that may provide you some relief. Basically, a move from Brooklyn transforms the Nets from a small market franchise to a big market franchise. Perhaps it will allow Ratner to open up the purse strings and go after some high-quality free agents!
Once again, thanks for the e-mail, and to all my readers out there: keep them coming! It's great to hear from you!
If you'd like me to answer your e-mail, please send to rory(dot)toohey(at)gmail. Thanks!
Rory,
Wanted to say great site and thanks for being a loyal Nets fan. I've been a fan and going to the games since I was 3, 24 now. I am completely sick to my stomach knowing that Ratner, hate the guy, is still going strong with this supposed move to Brooklyn. I've emailed the Nets and the Izod center plenty of times expressing my opinions and the Izod center actually got back to me and said they appreciate the support and they are doing what they can to keep the Nets here as well. I am fully in if you or anyone you know are doing anything to try and keep our team here. Thanks.
Anthony
Well, the Nets "imminent" move to Brooklyn seems to hit road block after road block, so I'm not quite sure when it will get done. The official word I get from my ticket rep and other Nets officials is 2011 - however, last year I was invited to an event where the theme was "Brooklyn in 2010 Come Hell or High Water." So I don't know what to believe. If it is any comfort to the pro-Jersey crowd, about three years ago, the Nets renewed their lease at the Meadowlands through 2013. I'm not sure what the terms are for breaking that lease, but it provides a safety net for future Barclays Center delays.
My thoughts? The Nets need a new arena, period. The Izod Center (a.k.a. Continental Arena a.k.a. Brendan Byrne Arena) is the second oldest arena in professional basketball, behind Madison Square Garden. It is incredibly inconvenient to get to if you do not drive (as documented in my second ever post). A new arena would re-invigorate a lethargic fanbase, and provide more revenue to the team (via luxury boxes).
Frankly, it seems the best option would be the new Prudential Center in Newark, where the Devils call home. The Nets will be playing some pre-season ball there this October. I have never been to the Rock yet, so I might just check this out. If you are pro-Jersey, going to the pre-season games would be the best way to show your Jersey pride. Usually, pre-season games have very low attendance in the Meadowlands, so a large showing would definitely make the owners take notice.
Ultimately, however, I think Brooklyn is best for the team long-term. The Nets will have a new arena that is accessible from tons of public transportation. They will have a large population of new fans, as Brooklyn is one of the most populous cities in the United States without a sports team. Furthermore, think of the merchandise sales: wearing a hat or jersey with "Brooklyn" on it definitely has more street cred than "New Jersey". The event I went to earlier (about Brooklyn in 2010) also mentioned setting up bus transportation from the Meadowlands to the new Brooklyn arena to help the loyal New Jersey fans, so that may provide you some relief. Basically, a move from Brooklyn transforms the Nets from a small market franchise to a big market franchise. Perhaps it will allow Ratner to open up the purse strings and go after some high-quality free agents!
Once again, thanks for the e-mail, and to all my readers out there: keep them coming! It's great to hear from you!
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