NETS CARS!
NETS CARS!
NETS CARS!
Ok, I snapped this picture at the last game I went to. Now, living in NY, I don't own a car, which helps offset the high costs everywhere else in the city. Also, while most people think they are great drivers but really suck, I know I'm a shitty ass driver. I just get too distracted when I'm on the road, often losing concentration. Haven't killed anyone yet, though! Score!
Although, despite my lack of driving skill, I would love to own one. I do have a birthday coming up soon (November), so fingers crossed! I definitely wouldn't be able to pull off driving the pickup truck, though. It'd be the sedan all the way. One time, while on a business trip to Houston, my company gave me the keys to a fucking huge pick-up truck. I felt like I was steering a jet fighter. It was a completely bad-ass experience, but frightening too because I had no idea where I was on the road at any point in time. But in the sedan, I can just gun it down highway 9, chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line.
Unsubtle Springsteen references aside, I'm posting about this because nobody has seen these cars on the road. And you know why? Because it's always parked in the driveway at some hawt New Jersey skank's house. Owning a Nets car is basically a license to bang any girl. It's like driving a Cadillac, Lamborghini, and Zamboni all rolled into one awesome babe magnet machine - with a Nets logo on it! There are only these two cars (that I know of) in existence - probably because the government restricts their production. You could rule the world with an armada of Nets cars.
But aren't you asking yourself, "A car that's bright red with a Nets logo? What am I, on a stakeout? Could I get something a little more flashy?" Behold...
SLYMOBILE!
SLYMOBILE!
SLYMOBILE!
Drool. Another irresistible fun machine. I can only assume this is the vehicle that the Nets' beloved mascot Sly takes to work everyday. But in his free time, I'm sure Sly uses it to pick up some....wait for it....foxy ladies! If this van is a rockin, don't come a-knockin! Unless, of course, the van has been stolen by a pedophile and there are little children trapped inside.
And, because these are trying economic times, I always try to look out for the little people. Do you need a job? Do you want to drive the SLYMOBILE? Well, you are in luck! Click here to apply to be Sly's assistant! Yes, I am graciously not applying for this job (since I would be a shoo-in), and will gladly proofread and review any resumes sent to me. Why? Because I care about you.
Also, I want a Nets car for my birthday. I need to live my life a quarter mile at a time.
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