Monday, April 6, 2009

Random Nets Crap - 07-08 Nets Banner

As a long-time Nets fan, I've compiled a shitload of Nets memorabilia and freebies throughout the years. Dating back to 2001, I've made dedicated effort to save almost everything. Now, feast your eyes on the more ridiculous and obscure paraphernalia in a blog feature I call....RANDOM NETS CRAP!


...You are all jealous, I know.

This banner was sent to me by my ticket representative after a botched incident with parking passes. I think that's the story, anyway. But that's beside the point. This is a banner celebrating the Nets glorious 2007-2008 season! A season which included:

  • 34 wins! Hey, that's almost 35!

  • Missing the playoffs for the first time in 6 seasons!

  • The last games of Jason Kidd, Richard Jefferson, and Jason Collins!

  • And, most importantly

  • 401 minutes of DeSagana Diop!

But eagle-eyed blog readers may have spotted a mark in the upper left corner of the banner. Let me zoom in.

Something that looks like an "S"....something that looks like a "W"....and the number 51. Yes, the cherry on top of this crap sundae of a banner is that it is signed by Nets 2007 first round pick, Sean Williams!

Now, I try to make this blog for both basketball and non-basketball fans, so here's the low-down on Sean Williams:

  • Drafted as the 17th pick in the first round in 2007 by the Nets. He was considered a "high-risk, high-reward" type player. What was the risk? Well...

  • Mr. Williams was dismissed from Boston College for smoking too much weed. When I heard about this, I found it very shocking...mainly because I assumed EVERYONE at Boston College was already high. How much weed do you have to smoke to get kicked out by those red-eyed, long-haired, eagle-loving hippies? Well, I guess Sean Williams knows.

  • His rookie season was fairly uneventful, but you could see what a jack-ass he was in this clip from the rookie game:

  • He started off the 2008-2009 season pissed that the Nets gave him money. Obviously, he wasn't going to be signing the 2008-2009 banners. This led to some unsuccessful trade talks with the Bobcats and Warriors, among other teams.

  • Since he wasn't contributing anything during the games, the Nets sent him to the developmental league in December. Now, two things to note. First, the Nets D-League team is the 14ers, which is cool. I'm always a fan of naming a sports team after a number, like the 49ers and 76ers. It sure beats naming the team after a piece of equipment. Nets? Ugh. Is there a baseball team called the Bases? (Although I think a football team called the Pylons sounds cool.)

    Second, the Nets D-League team is in Colorado. I knew right away that sending him there was going to turn out disastrous. I mean, he's a recovering pot-head, with millions of dollars, and you are sending him to Colorado? Were there no roster spots on the Jamaican D-League team? Clearly, the Nets threw the wolf into the chicken coup...

  • ....And, in less than a month, he got kicked off the D-league team. I'm not sure this has ever happened before. He got kicked out of two games for showing up late to practice, and leaving them early.

  • Then, in the next month,Sean got arrested for showing up on Boston College. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Always know where you have restraining orders.

  • But this is all just the mid-level hits, time for the classic. Sean Williams trashing a mall in Denver over an argument about the price of an iPhone! Again, it's not shocking that this happens in Colorado.

Oh, and he has career averages of 4.7 points and 3.9 rebounds per game. So, basically, the Nets gave me a fancy napkin. The only way this banner will be worth anything in 20 years is if Sean Williams either turns his career around and becomes the greatest player ever, makes a sex tape with a celebrity, or assassinates a foreign despot. Hey, if he does all three, this banner will put my kids through college!

So that concludes the first installment of Random Nets Crap. Like the banner says, Nets Basketball: More Than A Game!

1 comment:

  1. It's really unfortunate how immature he is, last thing I want to happen is the Nets letting Sean go and then some team signs a more mature and thus deadly version of him in the coming years.