Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Nickname Month!

Lisa: A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.
Bart: Not if they were called 'Stink Blossoms'.
Marge: I wouldn't want a dozen 'Stink Blossoms' for Valentines Day. Some candy would do just fine.
Homer: Not if they were called 'Scum Drops'.

Creating nicknames is a lost art in the NBA. Most are very lazy - using initials (KG, MJ), the first letter and part of the last name (JKidd, CWebb), or, the recent trend, initials and a number (KB24, CP3). Please. Give me "The Answer" or "Black Mamba" any day.

In the past, I have usually given Nets players my own personal nicknames. My personal favorite was Hot Buttered Lucious Harris. How did this come about? Well, Lucious Harris always hit a lot of big buckets on the Nets. And popcorn comes in big buckets at a movie theater. And my favorite type of popcorn is hot-buttered. Hence, he became Hot Buttered Lou.

Now that I have this forum to address the Nets fans, I will profile each player on the current roster, and create a new nickname for you all to use this season. I will do one player every two days, so make sure to check back frequently. The basketball offseason drags in August and September, so this will certainly help pass the time!