Wednesday, October 28, 2009

You Have Nothing Better To Do On A Friday

Seriously, you don't. Trust me, I know my demographic, and if you are reading this, you probably can't tell me something that is more interesting than going to a Nets game on a Friday. I have already my tickets (Section 117, Row 16!), but something tells me that you may not. What can you do?

Well, there's this site called, which has a system of getting tickets at reduced costs, straight from the teams themselves (rather than the bartering system used on sites like Stubhub). Plus, they've got this nifty logo that makes good use of the iconic foam-fingered fan:

I mean, just look at the rates to Nets games. Many tickets are 50% off. For my money, I'd go for the $21 seats. Then, at the end of the first quarter, go down to the lower section and tell the security guard a riddle. Might I suggest:

Brothers and sisters, I have none.
But this man's father is my father's son.

(Hint: It's you!)

While he is distracted, sneak down to the seats closer to the court. Bingo! Discount ticket for AMAZING seats! All thanks to and me!

Also, if you somehow can't make it Friday, is doing a special offer where all tickets you buy in November will get you a free ticket to the Jazz game on December 16th. It has never been cheaper to be a Nets fan.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It's Nets Season Eve!

Did you hang up your basketball socks by the fire? Have you been good fans all offseason? It is Nets Season Eve, and I'm pumped. However, prior plans means I can't watch tomorrow night's game. Bummer. But, I have tickets to Friday's game, and the return of Half-Prodigal Son, Half-Blame Him For Everything Wrong With the NBA. I'll be in Section 117, Row 16, on the end. So, if you are not a crazy stalker (and maybe if you are), stop by and see me.

Last week, I had an awesome give-away for awesome tickets at The Rock. Now, the Nets are flirting with a potential move to Newark temporarily until the Brooklyn arena is built. Coincidence, or a sign of the massive power that is attaining? I think the answer is quite clear. While I usually get my predictions wrong, I did say that the best way to keep the Nets in New Jersey was to go to the Newark preseason games.

(On a side note, I did not learn my lesson from my prediction failures, and participated in an over/under game with other Nets bloggers on Nets Are Scorching. Feel free to click, then point and laugh.)

Anyway, onto some of the photos from our winners. Here's Mark Hand's photos. He had some camera difficulties, but like Angus MacGyver, he was able to work with what he had:

Mark said he spent a lot of time in the lounge areas of the concourse. It looks pretty swanky here. The Izod Center has places like this (which I chronicled here), but they are not open to everybody.

A couple nice action shots, but it is missing a certain something...

There we go! Thanks, Mark!

The other winner was Denis Jatsiv. Let's see what he provided me...


Clearly, Mark got the memo about cheerleader pics, and Denis did not.

(Just kidding! I love the Nets Senior Dance Team! Go see Gotta Dance, available on DVD!)

Anyone who knows me knows my love of shiny lights. That's why I moved even closer to Times Square. This is one sweet scoreboard.

Woah, was there a fight in this game that I wasn't aware of?

I love the look of the players on the Nets' bench in these two photos. Basically, the poses of Brook Lopez in picture 1, Sean Williams in picture 2, and Josh Boone in picture 2 are the only three poses I have while I'm at work.

Anyway, thanks for the photos guys.

Let the games begin. My brother's prediction was 8 wins, my mom's prediction was 83. My prediction? Pain.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Northwest Division Previews!

I've got some great pics from the lucky contest winners, and I'll have the goods up this weekend. Until then, go visit these awesome team previews from the Northwest division:

Denver Nuggets Previews
Denver Stiffs
The Nugg Doctor

Minnesota Timberwolves Previews
Canis Hoopus
Empty The Bench
Twolves Blog

Zombie Sonics Previews
Blue Blitz
Daily Thunder

Portland Trail Blazers Previews
Blazers Edge
A Stern Warning
Rip City Project
Blaze of Love
Busta Bucket
Trail Post

Utah Jazz Previews
SLC Dunk
True Blue Jazz

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


You smell that? That's the smell of legitimacy. Or $10 wasted.

Yes, I am now at! Like a big boy site!

Also, please send your future e-mails and love letters to slipperywhennets (at) gmail.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Contest Over!

No more e-mails, please. I've already found two lucky fans to venture to Newark for the game.

Preseason Hype: YOUR Turn!

"Do you want to take my picture? Because I can't remember." - Filter

Above are the shattered remains of my digital camera screen. I had gone to 3 Bruce Springsteen shows out of 5 in Giants Stadium earlier this month, and by the third show, The Boss had rocked me so hard that he shattered the camera screen. The camera was a free gift I won at work, so do not cry for me. This tragedy has created opportunity!

You see, I have access to FOUR Nets tickets tomorrow at the Prudential Center in Newark. And, I am just giving them away! There are two things you must do, so follow carefully:

1. E-mail me at rory (dot) toohey (at) gmail.

2. Take a lot of pictures when you go to the game. I need you to be my eyes (being my ears, mouth, and nose is optional). I'm pretty sure I know how the game is going to go anyway: Nets play well in the first half, bench their starters, then blow a lead as Bobby Simmons goes 0-23. E-mail me your pictures, and I'll post them on the blog, perhaps with some commentary.

That's all it takes. So, I will open this up to the FIRST two people, and each person will get two tickets each.

So what are you waiting for?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Central Division Previews!

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Time, once again, to study the opposition and figure out how to lose gracefully to them.

Chicago Bulls Previews
Give Me The Rock

Cleveland LeBroniers Previews
Fear The Sword
Waiting For Next Year
Cavalier Attitude

Detroit Pistons Previews
Motown String Music
Empty The Bench
Pistons Nation

Indiana Whiteys Previews
Indy Cornrows

Milwaukee Bucks Previews
Brew Hoop

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Preseason Hype: The Backcourt

One thing I've learned as a basketball fan is that preseason performances usually mean jack shit. However, I can't help but getting myself worked up over certain aspects of preseason each year. This month, I'll interject with random ramblings based on meaningless exhibition games.

The Hype:Boy, is there a glut in the backcourt! The Nets might be the deepest team in the point guard, shooting guard, and small forward positions. Between those three positions, there are eight players - young and old - jockeying for playing time. All of them have legitimate cases to earn over 20 minutes a game. Let's run it down:

Devin Harris: The current face of the franchise, the All-Star, and one of only two guaranteed starters on the roster.

Courtney Lee: A starter on an NBA Finals team who was traded for a franchise superstar and expected to fill his big shoes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that Devin Harris' story?

Chris Douglas-Roberts: Had an unimpressive rookie year, but has been playing very well this preseason. Without consistent playing time, the Nets will not figure out what they have in him.

Keyon Dooling: He put in a terrific season last year, probably one of the best by a Nets backup point guard in a decade. He's battling a hip injury, but should be fine for the season opener.

Rafer Alston: Another starter from last year's Eastern Conference champions. He's the oldest of this bunch, but can still start on many teams.

Terrence Williams: The first-round pick receiving a lot of hype. "The Superstar of Practice". He'll probably get limited minutes at first, but needs to have opportunity to grow.

Jarvis Hayes, Bobby Simmons: Two players who can do yeoman's work at the small forward (and in Simmons case, occasionally power forward) position. They probably will not be on the team next year, but they provide veteran presence, and will need to play to make sure the Nets aren't blow out every game.

Having too much depth is a wonderful problem to have, and it will be interesting to see how Lawrence Frank plays them, or who Rod Thorn trades.

The Reality: Depth can disappear quickly. In 2003, after re-signing Jason Kidd and signing Alonzo Mourning, the Nets were stuck with three starting centers - Jason Collins, Alonzo Mourning, and Dikembe Mutumbo. So Rod Thorn bought out Mutumbo. Then, within a month, Alonzo Mourning went out for the season, and the Nets' depth went from three to one.

Players WILL get hurt. Courtney Lee has been nicked up all preseason. Devin Harris has had some ankle issues the last two years. Dooling is recovering from a hip injury. Rafer and Simmons are getting older.

Furthermore, the young players MAY be awful. Delano and Terrence-osaurus are producing in preseason, but it is only that - preseason. When the lights turn on, they could wilt. Furthermore, the older players may find themselves in decline.

So, while this looks very deep in these positions on paper, this competitive advantage could quickly disappear in the regular season. But hey, it is preseason, which means it is Team Hype time.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Southwest Division Previews

Apparently, not only are there other teams in other divisions besides the Atlantic, but there is also another conference! I vaguely recall some of these teams, but I suggest you also read up on the following teams by using these links:

The Dallas Owner-Looks-Poor-Compared-To-Provhorov-icks Previews
Mavs Moneyball
The Two Man Game
NBA Mate

The Houston Rockets Previews
The Dream Shake

The Memphis Grizzlies Previews
Three Shades of Blue

How is Byron Scott Still Coaching This Team? Previews
At the Hive
Hornets Hype

Richard Jefferson's Home (At Least For This Year) Previews
Pounding the Rock
Project Spurs

Wonderful! Keep checking back for more previews (and, also, the stuff I write about too).

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Preseason Hype: Brook Lopez

One thing I've learned as a basketball fan is that preseason performances usually mean jack shit. However, I can't help but getting myself worked up over certain aspects of preseason each year. This month, I'll interject with random ramblings based on meaningless exhibition games.

The Hype: Over the years, Nets fans have been seen all shapes and sizes of basketball players. There are those who truly suck, such as Soumaila Samake and Brandon Armstrong. We see those who get much hype, but never live up to it - your Hassan Adamses and Zoran Planicics.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are the players who are solid for several years, but never quite All-Stars (Richard Jefferson, Kerry Kittles). Then, you have your All-Stars - Devin Harris, Kenyon Martin, Vince Carter. And, finally, you have your Hall-of-Famer, the MVP candidate, the player who will lead your team to new heights and who you will be telling your grandchildren about when you are wallowing in senility. So far, only Jason Kidd belongs in this class.

So, I know I just explained the obvious - there are good and bad basketball players. Big revelation. Where am I going with this? Well, I like to think that, over the years, you can begin to identify the potential of where the players on your team, and how they will eventually be remembered. Devin Harris is already an All-Star, but I doubt he will reach the next echelon. But Brook Lopez?

I have to say, this preseason, he has looked absolutely scary. He looks like a man amongst boys, just scoring inside at will. There are a lot of comparisons to Tim Duncan, which sounds absurd, but he definitely has the body, and is younger than Tim Duncan was when he entered the NBA. Right now, I have a feeling in gut that Brook Lopez might be the next Hall-of-Fame Nets player, and we'll be seeing number 11 in the rafters in 20 years.

The Reality: OK, snap out of it. It is just TWO fucking preseason games, against teams with weak front lines. We will see how he does against the bigger teams in the NBA. Also, as his play improves, teams will start to shift their game plan to shut him down. Finally, a truly transformational player needs to make his teammates better, and I have not seen that yet in Brook's game.

But, there's hope. In a season that most pundits have written off as a rebuilding year (including myself), it will be interesting to see Brook's progression. Will he stall out, ala Al Horford, and not make a significant improvement? Or will he go where I think (well, "hope" might be more appropriate) he will - on a course to Springfield, Massachusetts?

But, as of now it is just...Preseason Hype.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Atlantic Division Previews

You people read my sexy Nets preview this past week, now go ahead and educate yourself about the rest of the Nets' division rivals.

Celtics Previews
Celtics Blog
Loy's Place
Celtics 17
Red's Army
Hoops Addict
Celtics Central
Celtics Hub
Gino's Jungle

Nets Previews
Barkley's Mouth

Knicks (BOO!) Previews
Posting and Toasting
Bandwagon Knick

76ers Previews
Liberty Ballers

Raptors Previews
Hoops Addict

Wow, that's a lot of Celtics bloggers. Anyway, make with the clicking!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Me to Nets Marketing Department: "WTF dudes?"

Nets fans were taken through a loop when Brett Yormark announced the Reversible Jersey idea. I have already explained this concept ad nausem. However, in all the promotions, all you saw were "artist's concepts" of the jerseys. Well, at the Nets Open Practice in Ramapo on Saturday, I got to see them first hand...brace yourselves:

As always, click on the images to see a bigger picture.

Ugh. These things look incredibly shitty. If you've ordered them thinking you would wear them and be instantly mistaken for LeBron James, you are shit out of luck. These look like cheap intramural jerseys! The jerseys are basically see-through mesh, and do not have any of the piping and details seen in authentic jerseys. So, way to go, Yormark - you not only pissed off fans who didn't like the idea, but these lackluster replicas will piss off those in support of the idea!

Other thoughts from the open practice: Chris Douglas-Roberts looked fantastic, Terrence-osaurus can handle the ball, don't believe the Yi hype, and Tony Sweet Battie looks incredibly gimpy. But, others have delved into this more deeply, so check Netsdaily for links to better analysis than mine. Meanwhile, I will leave you with some candid photos.

Lawrence Frank coaching:

Hassell, Brook, and Boone:

Terrence tucking in his jersey:

SWat, Courtney, and Frank have chat:

CDR addresses the crowd:

(Just a programming note as well: With the season getting underway, I will try to post more often, so keep checking back. I will probably deviate from the Monday schedule, but will have a minimum of one new update a week. Thank you for your continued support!)

Friday, October 2, 2009

Everything You Wanted to Know About the 2009 Nets...But Had Better Things To Do Than Ask

Team Name: Brooklyn New Jersey Nets

Last Year’s Record: 34-48

Key Losses: Vince Carter, Ryan Anderson, Trust of the Fanbase, $25 Million

Key Additions: Courtney Lee, Terrence Williams, a scary Russian Billionaire, Ridiculous Marketing Decisions

1. What Significant Moves were made during the off-season?

This summer was a relaxing one for the Nets management. Team President Rod Thorn and General Manager Kiki Vandeweghe spent the summer in Sandy Hook, chasing girls in their Camaro while blasting Sugar Ray's Greatest Hits. Their blissful summer nights consisted of laying on the roof of the car, drinking warm beer, and discussing how small they were in the universe. Owner Bruce Ratner tried to start his own lemonade stand, but did not have enough money to buy one of those "LEMONADE" signs with the "E"s turned backwards. VP of Marketing Brett Yormark's summer was sponsored by Coca-Cola, Coppertone, and Stiletto's on Paterson Plank Road!

Also, Vince Carter was traded to Orlando. They have cap space for two max free agents in 2010. And there's a new Russian owner. Yeah I know - YAWN!

2. What are the team’s biggest strengths?

As Michael Scott once said, "My weaknesses are actually my strengths." It is very appropriate when describing this team. The Nets have a lot of youth, and a lot of cap space. Basically, the pieces are aligning for a serious run at the top free agents in the summer of 2010. The new owner, Mikhail Prokhorov, is now the richest owner in the NBA, which could help in the future as well.

As for the roster itself, they may be set for the future at two key positions, with Brook Lopez and Devin Harris manning the center and point guard roles. Courtney Lee showed some flashes with Orlando last season, and he, along with Keyon Dooling, Chris Douglas-Roberts, and Skip To My Lou, will be asked to pick up the scoring load with the departure of Vince Carter. Terrence Williams is also getting some preseason buzz, as well.

3. What are the team’s biggest weaknesses?

Basically, the front-court is abysmal. Simmons and Hayes should do a yeoman's job handling the small forward position, but the Nets lack a true power forward. Yi Jianlian is the best one on the roster, and he shot 38% from the field, played very poor defense, and was frequently benched in favor of Ryan Anderson (a key loss in the Vince Carter trade). Josh Boone lost all confidence last season, and has become a complete liability on offense. Rounding out this horrific trio is Sean Williams, whose off-court rap sheet is growing longer by the day (which I chronicled here). This is a roster hole you can drive a truck through.

Other issues lie in areas such as the team's lack of experience and poor defense. But, basically, with so many young players on the roster, you could hit the lottery or end up back in the lottery.

Off the basketball court, the ownership change may cause some friction in the head office. Both Rod Thorn and Lawrence Frank are in the final years of their respective contracts, and the Russian may seek to replace them. This lame duck status can negatively affect the team, as it did with Byron Scott in the 2003-04 season.

4. What are the goals for this team?

The Nets need to use this season to clearly see what their assets are truly worth. Clearly, Bobby Simmons, Rafer Alston, Tony Battie, Eduardo Najera, and Trenton Hassell will not be back next year. What can Terrence Williams achieve in the league? Is Courtney Lee the starting shooting guard for the team's future? Is Yi Jianlian or Chris Douglas-Roberts worthy of a roster spot? Are Josh Boone and Sean Williams just busts, or major busts? Is there room enough to keep valuable veterans like Keyon Dooling and Jarvis Hayes around?

The way I see it, wins are an added bonus for the team this season. If the Nets go through another season and still don't know the value of their prospects, it will be a failed season.

5. So, how the hell do you get to the games?

Glad you asked! In the past, I've ranted about how the public transportation to the arena sucks. In case you don't have time to read it, here it is in a nutshell: instead of having a bus that takes you directly from New York City to the Meadowlands (as they have in previous years), they have a train that takes you from New York to Secaucus instead - which is actually taking you FURTHER AWAY from the Meadowlands. Then, you have to take a bus from there. That's New fuckin Jersey for you. But have they made any changes this year?

Well, they sure did! They instituted a rail system that takes you from the Secaucus to the Meadowlands. Which, from what I can tell, does nothing to solve the problem that YOU ARE STILL FURTHER FROM THE FUCKING MEADOWLANDS THAN YOU WOULD BE IF YOU JUST TOOK A BUS LIKE THEY USED TO HAVE! Furthermore, this rail system completely and utterly failed during a recent concert they had in U2, with many people (including myself) waiting 2 hours to get back to New York (you can read about this here and here. But, this is all for naught, as they won't be running this train during Nets games anyway. So the current situation sucks, they instituted a new solution, which sucks, and then they aren't going to use it. I'm so glad I moved out of that shitty state so my taxes don't go to utter waste like this. Instead, I now pay for governors to buy prostitutes! I can't wait for the Nets to move to Brooklyn, so people can actually get to the games.

Projected Finish: Loyal readers know I suck at predictions. So, I am not going to put much thought into this. How about...say...24-58? That do anything for you?